Lakeside Hash House Harriers
(The drinking club with a running problem)
HASH TRASH
Run 904 November 21, 2001; Fairfield Park Boat House
Hare: Lethal
A tremendous sense of loss pervaded this weeks run as our hare put on a display of Lethal Force. We set off along the riverside and were soon into waist high grass; then up to the 18th tee on the golf course; then pretty soon the entire pack had lost the trail. But it soon picked up after a kilometre or two, minus Wings, who was pissed off with all the greenery and fled the scene, becoming lost himself for two or three hours. The search party also got lost. Too Dumb to Die arrived on bicycle going backwards along the trail, but no sooner joined into it than he lost the Hash Horn.
Weak as Piss then lost his keys and locked himself out of his car; Trail Mistress Lipstick lost the Hat Run, which was last seen at the Melbourne Cup where it has been taken over as A Melbourne Major Event. Lethal lost the shiny red book, the joy of my existence (sob!), though rumour has it that it may have been kidnapped by a shadowy D & E Hasher who briefly attended the run; Mothball lost all heart when he won pegs in the raffle (I told the Serg., we had kegs lined up for the raffle, not pegs) and I lost the plot, and most of my notes .
Gerbils stood in as GM, since E & B was lost; and awarded special runs to Wings, Deeper and Udder Idjit for no particular numbers. Janus gave the run report, which explained how the run produced a record high ratio of trail to arrows. Lethal claimed we were intruding on Deep Throats Green Run territory which was damned odd as he set the run himself; DT gleefully pointed out all the perves lurking in the bushes during the run – we would have had to hold her back my friend but for the fact that they all bat for the opposite side.
Visitors were Weak as Piss, Dom, and Ghattas, who, naturally enough after being pronounced Gut-Arse and Gutters by everybody, spent most of his first run in a desperate attempt to rename himself. Downsizings Dad, Dominic, was visiting from Fremantle where he was the first-ever Italian off the boat. When he stepped out of the car with daughter and Wings it was shockingly apparent to all that he bears an astonishing likeness not to daughter Rosa but to daughters partner, Wings. When pressed closely about this he explained it by saying he was Italian. Wings has now been mentioned more in the past two weeks than the word I appears in the average newspaper column by Dermot Brereton, so I have banned him from the next Trash.
As the pale red sun set over the Yarra, and Baa-ar-braa wan fluoro light cast its ghostly gleam over proceedings, and the mosquitoes stung with increasing fury, Dom. finished off the evening with a couple of long-winded jokes which were utterly hilarious despite being unintelligible to everybody present. Well, bugger it, since Im not allowed to mention Wings again; Ive lost interest
On on,
Mummies Boy
UPCUMMING RUNS
Run 905 November 28 E & B E&Bs St Andrews Highland Fling Run
115 Buckingham St, Richmond
Melway: 2H, D3 (Definitely not in
St.Andrews!) Wear something Scottish!
Run 906 December 5 GG Cheltenham Park, Cheltenham
Melway: 86 GG (erm G1, that
is)
Run 907 December 12 Cooch t.b.a.
Run 908 December 19 Rugarse t.b.a.
UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS
Albury-Wodonga 1000th and Blue Moon Run.
Shelley Forestry Camp, Avendale Rd, Shelley via Murray Valley Highway, Nov 30 Dec 2. $100 before Nov 1; $120 after it. BYO bedding. Contact Ian Krunch-A Crellin (02) 6071-8577 or icc@albury.net.au
Full Moon Hash
Run 20; 2nd December; Island Creek Picnic Ground, about 8 km on Eucalyptus Road off Glenburne Rd, Kinglake – just off the page past Melways Map 250, K 1 Hare: BubbleGum. (Ed: he didnt say what time, but his info might be at http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~rbsmith/)
Western Suburbs Hash AGPU ,
December 4, Polo Club Hotel, North St. Ascot Vale. Melway: 28 K10
Lakeside H3 Christmas Party: Royal or Republicans.
Royal Brighton Yacht club, 253 St.Kilda St, Brighton, Melway: 67, C10. Saturday December 15 from 7 p.m. $5 Kris Kringle. Tickets $35 now.