Run 976 Report

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

The Uncommitted

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Baa-baa-ra or and GG (Barry Kerr) 0418 580 593

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

jsb-@pacific.net.au

It was a sizeable walk from Oakleigh train station to the Reg Harris Reserve and I was hoping to spot some trail along the way. By the time I was within sight of the gathered multitudes and crossing the dry water feature I was still searching in vain. It should have been recognised as a premonition of the wily run that GG had planned for the pack, but I was too busy wondering why the City of Monash had named a park after an English cycling champion of the 1950’s.

Secure in the knowledge that the book was present to preserve his run for posterity, the hare called the pack to order and set us off sniffing the sidewalk for flour. The battered horn hailed the pack down one – two – three false trails before it began to dawn that, though we might not stray more than two kilometers from the on-in at any given time, we were in for a long night of it.

Long checks, on-backs, and false trails kept the pack united and unified in their grumbling awe of the dastardly hare. We inevitably made our way to the creek reserve and were soon travelling through an engineering feat – a tunnel several hundred meters long apparently serving no other purpose than as a gallery for local graffiti artistes.

The run came to a screeching halt when the pack reached the other side and found it completely bereft of trail. Hashers did what they do best when the trail gets complicated – they loitered and waited for the FRBs to check it out. Eventually we noticed that Whippet and Cooch had disappeared back down another dark tunnel together and hadn’t been seen for some time. Not wanting to disturb their interlude we ran back down the lighter, drier, less rubbish strewn tunnel and found them clambering up the opposite bank leaving clothes strewn in their wake. The lacy purple panties were just Whippet’s size so we knew we were on trail again.

After some more fumbling around in the back streets of Oakleigh, and with the smell of sausages as well as a brilliant sunset (all of those pulverised Iraqi command structures floating in the atmosphere?) lighting our way, we found ourselves back at the Reg Harris. Those hashers who hadn’t already snuck off into the bushes on trail (Lethal not included) discovered that their urethral discipline was all in vain; in response to the drought the City of Monash encourages public urination after 6 p.m.

Food was eaten and the GM called the circle. Cooch gave the hare a surprising 44.4% approval rating, citing the fact that GG was able to avoid any near-death experiences this run. A virgin, Rashelle, made it all the way from Laverton for her first hash run ever – her experience in administering first aid should be a welcome addition to Lakeside. Geoff had returned in style, refusing to dress down for any occasion, but still a bit rusty on hash etiquette.

earned a charge for his Homeric journey to Sydney in search of a woman named Helen. The face that launched a thousand Subarus.. Barterbitch had a drink for something having to do with a porn star in California, and Plugger was charged for pontificating on Roman history.

The GM distributed backdated 50th and 75th run badges, despite the fact that the hash clearly don’t need no stinking badges, then handed over to the GM/hare who handed out the stinking charges as follows:

• In-significant runs: SBD at 20, Astro at 175, Nick & Lotsafun at a combined total of 90, Whippet at 123
• Jane

: new bum bag

• Lethal

: bloody dickhead (ouch)

• E&B

: apple thief

• Geoff

: senility

• GG

: Despite co-authoring the “no sausage cookbook” had served us up with the dreaded meatsack.

• Cooch

: scared of the dark

• Janus

: slow pouring

• TDTD

: horn basher

• Lotsafun

: no sense of direction

• Toto

: sleeping in cars

• Janus

: SBD license plates

• Mummies Boy

: forgot how to drink

• All the bike hasher

s: for bike hashing

• Mummies Boy

and Nick: fashion assassins

• Lotsafun

: doesn’t like short shorts

won the grog and we all pissed off home.

On-On

TDTD

2/4/03

977

Boner

Ascot Vale Hotel, Crn Mt Alexander Rd & Maribyrnong Rd, Ascot Vale

28 J9

Bring a 2 hour Tram ticket or be prepared for a long run

9/4/03

978

Lethal

E.E. Gunn Reserve, Beatty Street, off Booran Road, Ormond

68 E7 16/4/03

979

The Boomerang

4/39 Horne Street, Elsternwich

67 F3

Some may be more familiar with it as “those apartments across the street from the Daily Planet”

23/4/03

980

St. George’s Day Run

Udder Idiot

14 Dalmont Street, Highett

77 B9

Wear a red rose on a white shirt; Spotted dick and toad in the hole!

Saturday 12 April, 3-5 pm

Lakeside Gets Edumicated at the CAE Beer Course

Belgian Beer Café, 557 St Kilda Rd (cnr Moubray St., near School for the Blind) $55 for grog, snacks, and erudition. Enrol at CAE www.cae.edu.au Contact TDTD if you have signed up!