Lakeside Hash House Harriers
The drinking club with a running problem
Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
Grand Master
Mummies Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978
Sergeant @ Arms in absentia
Baa-baa-ra or and GG (Barry Kerr) 0418 580 593
Hash Kash
Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495
Occasional On-sex
Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945
Social Sex
Eggn Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134
Trail Master
Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134
Grog Master
Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784
Religious advisor
Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038
Web Master
The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694
Hash Haberdashery
Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363
Occasional Hash Flash
Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689
Honorary Hash Horn
IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796
Checkin Chicken and Acting Sergeant
Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382
LSH3 Email all@lakesidehash.asn.au
Web Site www.LakesideHash.asn.au
Hash Trash contact jsbibm@pacific.net.au
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 977 2 April 2003
Venue: Ascot Vale Hotel
Hares: Boner
What with war, disease, and day becoming night you might think that the apocalypse had befallen us. But no, it was just another night in the wild western suburbs. It was dark, and it was wet, and that was only the pub.
Boner finally cajoled us into leaving the murky comfort of the Ascot Vale Hotel for a friendly stroll down to the tram stop where we settled the age-old question: How many hashers can you fit in a tram shelter? The #89 was spacious in comparison, with only a few bewildered commuters there to witness Mummies Boys stand-up comedy act.
We were finally delivered in a vacant lot with only the distant Melbourne skyline and some soggy flour to navigate by. Fortunately for us we were running on twice-laid trail with some two-timers from the Western Suburbs. Barterbitch and Toto kept any checks from being too much of a bother, the sheer terror of being in the wild west after dark kept most of the pack together, and Alice kept the pack on trail with her hearty calls of “on-on”!
Apart from a spell by the mighty Maribyrnong, the trail was a labyrinthine slog through dim alleys and eerily quiet lanes. Before we knew it (and before any of the local youth stuck a shiv in my ribs) we were on-home. Back in the smoky embrace of the AVH a delightfully meaty selection of mains awaited the slavering hounds. While we all tucked into our dead cow, chicken, and pig, Quasi was left nibbling on bread rolls and salad. When will she learn?
Soon enough the GM set up for circle time, right plunk in front of the illustrious and hoary home of the Ascot Vale Hotel Dart Club (est. 1989). And he had his hands full tonight. Boner had somehow managed to set a record for new runners on hash the fact that many of them fell under the jurisdiction of the Department of Immigration may have raised eyebrows (“No visa unless you come to my run!”).
Abbreviation Dick, Rice, Katie, and John the Runner rounded out the newbies. Tangles uncharacteristic early departure meant we might even keep a couple of them around for two runs. And Doggy Style was back for the first time in about two years.
Cooch called the run “dubious” but gave Boner a 64% approval rating regardless.
The GM called up Peter the Publican for a thank you drink, and the Essendon supporters just for being themselves. Alice had her first charge, imprinting her with favorable associations of binge drinking and public acceptance (good to catch them young, or so says Lion Nathan).
And then it was time for the big event. Having shown up week after week for about three months now, and having set a run, Kirsty looked to be sticking around for the longish haul. So it was only fitting that she be promptly named before some lazy rhyming nonsense stuck. Thus it was decreed that from henceforth she shall be known at Lakeside Hash as ROLF HARRIS.
That over with, GG stepped in and the circle devolved into the usual chaos :
Klingon had the only notable run number and had a free beer for run 242
Doggystyle was charged for trading in and trading up in the boyfriend department
Mothballs anxiety over our proximity to Maribyrnong Detention Centre had been noticed on trail
Abbreviation Dick was charged for wearing new shoes, though he insisted that they were only clean shoes, which reflected a standard of personal grooming not usually found in a hasher, so he drank anyway
Bovine Breeder was charged for ordering Kate around on hash, and Kate was charged for listening to him
Cooch was charged for spousal neglect and was interrupted mid-drink by a call from said souse I mean spouse who was cavorting with D&E (the shame!)
Barterbitch was charged for shoving her pussy-cat in peoples faces
Janus was charged for manufacturing kinky marital aids/kitchen appliances
Quasi and Rashelle were charged for being coke-heads, and with that, and a raffle, we all pissed off home.
On-On
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date Run Number Hare Venue Melways Et Cetera 9/4/03 978 Lethal E.E. Gunn Reserve, Beatty Street, off Booran Road, Ormond 68 E7 16/4/03 979 The Boomerang 4/39 Horne Street, Elsternwick 67 F3 Some may be more familiar with it as “those apartments across the street from the Daily Planet” 23/4/03 980
St. Georges Day Run
Udder Idiot 14 Dalmont Street, Highett 77 B9 Wear a red rose on a white shirt; Spotted dick and toad in the hole!
Other Events
When What Where Et Cetera Saturday 12 April, 3-5 pm Lakeside Gets Edumicated at the CAE Beer Course Belgian Beer Café, 557 St Kilda Rd (cnr Moubray St., near School for the Blind) Contact TDTD if you have signed up! 2-4 May Australian International Beer Awards Festival Melbourne Exhibition Centre $30 for unlimited tastings and souvenir glass! Discount for group bookings so contact TDTD on jsbibm@pacific.net.au if you are interested in going. More info at http://www.beerawards.com/beerfestival/top.html Wednesday 18 June, 6:30 Lakeside HHH Annual Grand Piss-Up TBD Only two more months with this lot! Saturday 4 October Lakeside HHH
1000th Run
Rowallan Scout Camp, Riddells Creek More details coming soon!