Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2004-2005
Grand Master The Boomerang Religious Advisor SBD Hash Cash Underfelt Grog Master Janus Soc Sec Miss Piggy On Sec Rolf Harris Hash Haberdash Shagadelic Hare Raiser Kokup Hash Flash Bovine Breeder Web Master Klingon
Subs of $50 are now due, payable to HashCash Underfelt!
Run 1061, 13 October 2004 Hares: Udder Idjit Venue: Thomas St Reserve, Thomas St, Hampton.
REPORT: EXTRACT OF C.I.A. HIGH SECURITY FILE SUBMITTED BY: AGENT JANUS SUBJECT: UDDER IDJIT CLASSIFICATION: UDDERLY ABSURD
A small crowd of mostly Caucasian drinkers poorly disguised as athletes had gathered in a public place in the Melbourne suburb of Hampton. What transpired led us to believe the crowd had no idea of what was to befall them (strategically an ambush), or from observations this crowd simply had ‘no idea’. Surveillance continued in hope that some intelligent life could be detected.
Prime subject appears. Udder Idjit. Suspect trail to date: – a questionable medical practice leaving a paper trail of thousands of probably dodgy prescriptions. – regular flights to a remote, known bad money laundering island in the Indian Ocean. – numerous liaisons in South African time share residences believed to be in an attempt to on-sell his investment. (As if one of those time share nights where you go to pick up your special free accommodation gift wasn’t bad enough, imagine one run by the South Africans!) – meetings with Cheesecake. – prolonged internment of 80 year old Welsh lady at an address in Highett, Melbourne – enforced labour on above 80 year old Welsh lady making copious amounts of trifle. – subsequent banishment of above 80 year old Welsh lady to grotty railway-side concrete bunker in Hampton, Melbourne. – engagement in biological warfare by way of bringing notoriously farting dog to public gatherings. – setting of countless numbers of crap trail for Lakeside H3.
Charges (from the small crowd of mostly Caucasian drinkers) were observed as follows: Udder, running out of trifle. Shunt, Major Fuck Up and Janus, returnees. Udder, for numerous offences which ran down much the same line as those listed above. IBM charged someone for something obscene like flashing their tits. GG for extreme obnoxiousness. Udder, for cold food (they were no pork pies). Chiko, low profile (charge taken by drinking dog, Whippet). A couple of predictable post election charges were also had.
Mummies Boy, IBM and Tangles exchanged several very old jokes in front of the circle. Whippett made an announcement about the November 6&7th bike hash. GM Boomer told everbody to piss off and go home.
FILE CLOSED.
Webmaster’s note: The quality of CIA intelligence has not improved. This report contains mostly irrelevant speculation and bears no resemblance to actual facts on the ground. Numerous failures could be cited, such at the inadequate weather description, the tooth breaking bread, the logistical failure in lighting provision, and the important appearance of two ex-Lakeside GMs, After Five and Dallas. The report shows only that the CIA continues to act as a weapon of mass deception.
Upcumming events Next Full Moon run is Sunday 24 Oct 04 Balls-up 2004 Saturday, 30 Oct 2004 7pm Geelong Melbourne Bike Hash in the King Valley winery area is November 6/7 – see Whippet for a flyer. NashHash Easter 2005 .
UPCOMING RUNS & EVENTS
20 Oct 1062 GG Cheltenham Park, Park Rd, Cheltenham 86 G1 Chentenham station 27 Oct 1063 Rigby Beckett Park, Balwyn. Lookout Tower off Banool St 46 G7 Halloween Run. Don’t park in the car park off Parring Road. Park gates close at dusk. Tram 23, 42, Stop 54. 3 Nov 1064 Clitus & Gumboot TBA Melbourne Cup Hat Run