Date: 8-Oct-14
Hares: Cyclone Tracy
Venue: Celtic Club City, corner Queen and La Trobe Sts
Home Rule for Bayside Hash.
The Club moved around but has been at the current site since 1959. The Celtic Club was established in 1887 to support the cause of Irish Home Rule. The Club’s Home Rule campaign obviously worked so now we should have ‘Home Rule for Bayside Hash’.
IT’S TIME to stop thinking of Baysiders as the running dogs of Lakeside Hash imperialists. No longer will we be oppressed by the northern/western/eastern Lakeside Hash hegemony. Why south of the Yarra is better than the north/east/west-side:
- No-one wears moccasins in Bayside
- We believe the working classes should know their place
- On the south-side you don’t have to explain a skinny soy decaf latte
- Bankers live on the south-side
A Bayside Hash would be prepared to admit members from Frankston and Mt Martha but we’d have to relax the ‘no moccasins’ rule.
Back to the venue, it was previously the New Union Club Hotel. In 1932 William Brown was shot in the abdomen by a policeman while attempting a break and enter at the hotel. At the subsequent burglary trial Judge McIndoe said “the constable, in my opinion, very properly shot at you and hit you”. He sentenced Brown to 12 months prison with hard labour. Now there’s a judge who never wasted time drinking skinny soy decaf lattes.
Cyclone set an excellent fast paced run around the periphery of Melbourne CBD and through several gardens which were looking their best. We visited all the icons – Flagstaff Gardens, Queen Vic Market, Parliament House, Treasury Gardens, the Tennis Centre, Birrurung Marr, Federation Square – providing a good workout for those of us who are serious athletes, and many opportunities for short cutting bastards. Hello Udder.
Hooraytio described the run – it went past lots of bars but we didn’t go into any of them, She got lost with No Balls, she and No Balls got stopped for perving into a gym and watching guys in green Speedos. Run awarded 16/21.
Kerry described the walk which she liked but they couldn’t find the rose garden so she awarded the walk 4/10.
Returnees
Hooraytio, Cyclone, Pog, Barbie’s Box from Melb Ladies, Kerry
Special Runs
Pointy 878, 2 Bottoms 111, Racey Tracy 50, Aristokat 10
Charges
- Cyclone the hare who provided excellent weather.
- SOAS, Aristokat, Critter for being pacemakers.
- Prince for jaywalking 33/67 traffic lights and racking up $3000 in fines.
- Pointy, Mothball, Swamp Rat, Aristokat, Cheesecake for being Welsh or Irish.
- Barbie’s Box for wanting a threesome with Pointy and Hooraytio at Ballarat.
- Klingon for publishing a tell-all history of his GM-ship.
- E&B for needing a lawyer.
- Cheesecake for being a gossip.
- Prince (hammy), Pog, Racey Tracey (horse), SOAS for having injuries.
- Cyclone who copped some constructive criticism from E&B regarding her run/walk trail.
- Punch for disappearing. Later charged with too much talking.
- E&B for bullying and molestation.
- 2 Bottoms for complaining about being molested.
- Cooch for sending Kerry to Bendigo.
- LuBangOz for careless parking.
- No Balls for teaching Lotsa Fun how to cup a fart.
- NickelB and Lotsa Fun for pashing on the run.
- Lethal for arriving late.
- Aristokat for having a twin working at the Celtic Club.
- Mother Trucker for pointing at an arrow and not calling.
- E&B for making the most long winded charge.
- LuBangOz for bringing the beer for Klingon to take home on the tram.
- Udder for being a hopeless GM.
- Mothball for abandoning Blood Sucker.
Scribe – Cheesecake