Date: 15-Oct-14
Hare: Hooraytio (with assistance from Astro)
Venue: Half Moon Bay Life Saving Club Black Rock
Champagne and Vodka run
Young Hooraytio picked a stunning spot for her virgin run. LubeOil might be top of the leader board in the food stakes, but this was easily the best location this year. She’s also in the running for the absolute best drink stop with vodka infused watermelon slices – watermelon is loaded with vitamins C and K and antioxidants so we know it’s good for us. The HMBLSC supplied non-stop $5 glasses of champagne all night. Looking back through my alcohol coloured glasses, I reckon it was a great night.
The HMBLSC looks over the Cerberus wreck, once the backbone of the Victorian Navy, established to protect us from the Russians. The Russian Empire was very, very afraid of the Victorian Navy. The HMVS Cerberus is a warship but it looks like a submarine which brings back wonderful memories about Bronwyn Bishop, currently the Speaker who wants to ban the burqa from Parliament House. In the mid 1990s she was the Minister for Defence Industries. One day she visited and inspected a Naval establishment. She had a press conference afterwards where she proudly announced that she was the first woman to ever go down on a submarine.
Later she was the Minister for Aged Care. Like Princess Anne, she’s never changed her hairdo, always going forth with a rigidly in-place blonde French roll. Journalists cruelly called her the Minster for Caged Hair.
The fish and chips were great but every cloud has a lead lining – your scribe sat across the meal table from Aristokat and Udder, banging on about wonderful Pommy food like jellied eels and pork pies.
A Pommy pork pie.
Why Four and Twenty pies are better than pork pies:
- They go better with beer
- You can eat one at the footy while simultaneously standing and yelling abuse
- They are great with tomato sauce (never, ever ketchup, Aristokat!)
- You can’t catch mad cow disease from a four-and-twenty.
Visitor
Janet
Special runs
Prickly Bush 69+13, Kokup 176,Gargoyle 89, Lotsa and NickelB for recording their runs twice in the book.
Aristokat described the run – she loved the beach views, the beach stairs, the Black Rock clock, the hash stops, the history and especially the vodka which flowed from the watermelon tree. She wasn’t sure about the stuff between the water and the bush – we call it sand – over in the UK it’s coagulated pebbles, which is why British beachgoers wear sandals and long white socks to the beach.
Bloodsucker was with the walkers and she also loved all of the above and usefully employed her sucking skills to get every last bit of vodka out of that watermelon.
Run/walk awarded 3190/3193.
Charges
Started with a song from Deeper and Bloodsucker, plus we got a joke from NickelB about a blonde and gorillas.
- Virgin hare Hooraytio was presented with a baby hare by the GM.
- Pointy was presented with an 800 runs jersey. He started hashing in 1991 before your scribe was born. In 23 years he should have done 1196 runs so he squibbed on 300+. We use “run” loosely because he always walks and still gets home ahead of the runners.
- Assistant hare Astro charged because his entrails crossed his out-trails – Gavascon can help.
- Colours, Gargoyle and Cheesecake for betting on what time Udder would disappear from the run and start short-cutting – it was 7.25pm so Colours won.
- Prickly Bush for thinking that the trail marking HS meant Hash Shit when it meant Historic Site.
- Shoeshopper, Cooch and Astro also charged with trail marking infringements.
- Colours and Hooraytio for having hooning races down Nepean Highway against Deeper.
- Deeper for being allowed back in the country after a visit to NZ.
- Aristokat, LuBangOz, LubeOil, NickelB, Lotsa Fun, No Balls, Shoe shopper for eating fish and chips with a knife and fork.
- LuBangOz for being petty?
- No Balls for being an unrecognised returnee.
- Mother Trucker for being a smart arse.
- GM for being a management consultant.
- E&B then ruined Men of Harlech.
Scribe: Cheesecake