Date: 5-Nov-14
Hares: Coffin Box and Cut Loose
Venue: Colonial Hotel cnr Lonsdale and King sts.
The Hat Run
The scribe, did the run then POE and therefore wasn’t at the circle. Many thanks to Punch who has done a great job of recording the charges below.
Coffin Box set a fast paced run through lots of lanes behind King and Lonsdale Streets, across to the Flagstaff gardens and down to the docks, around Etihad Stadium and in and out of the nooks and crannies of Docklands.
The area brought back some wonderful memories for your scribe who spent many restful years working for the Tax Office at 270 King St. There was the Kilkenny Inn on the Lonsdale/King corner, now masquerading as Goldfingers Gentlemen’s club, where many a tax officer spent long to longish to very bloody long lunches.
270 was occupied by the Tax Office in the 1970s, 80s and 90s. One day a couple of exhausted tax officers wandered down the front steps at 270, hopped into a taxi and directed the driver to take them to the Golden Age Hotel. The driver chucked a U-ey and delivered them to the hotel at 287 King St – directly opposite the Tax Office.
If you were a teetotaller you could eat in at the ground floor staff canteen where everything was fried. Every Tuesday they cleaned the grease traps and the smell would waft up to all floors for the rest of the day. (At Dandenong Tax Office it was Wednesdays – you could walk out, sniff the air and know it was market day over at the stockyards because the smell of cow poo would cloud the entire Dandenong CBD). The Tax Office introduced security guards in the 1980s so only employees could enter the King St building. This brought an outpouring of grief from members of the public who regularly ate lunch at the grease trap canteen.
270 was always a restful place, particularly in the old superannuation section. Superannuation wasn’t the trendy topic it is these days. If you wanted to engage in nothing more vigorous than having a pulse, then superannuation was the place to not work. Pre computers there was a guy there who buried himself in piles of super files so that each afternoon he could put his head down and have a little snooze, hidden behind his piles of files.
Back at the run Cut Loose put on a splendid drink stop with a champagne and ice cream concoction plus whore derves. In recognition of the Spring Racing Carnival, there were some great hats – ENB ran the entire run in a wide black straw and ostrich feather confection which must have araldite-ed to the head.
Charges prepared by Punch:
Visitors – Slack Mack, Mother Brown, Heavy. Papparazza, Barbie’s Box
Virgin Runners –Suzy, Barbara
Returnees – Son of Skala, Shu Shu, Quick Lay, Janet and Cyclone Tracy. E&B was taking the Down Down for Cyclone Tracy who left early
Mutha Trukka for saying here’s to E&B instead of Cyclone Tracy’s Lookalike
Gargoyle – same as Mutha Trukka
Coffin Box and Cut Loose – Hares of the Combined Run
Kling On – asked everyone to pause and remember our Dear Departed Harriers, Sooty and Jumbo
Heavy – described Ballarat Balls Up, the Preamble Run up to the Black Hill Lookout where Critter Fitter arrived hot and sweaty in comparison to other ladies who had loped easily up the hill.
Heavy suggested ‘Sweaty Box” was a better name for Critter Fitter and the majority voted yes.
Heavy serenaded Sweaty Box to his version of The Beatles’ song “Yesterday” with the pack joining in for the chorus, “Yesterday,,ay .,ayay ,Yesterday”.
Critter Fitter – duly renamed “Sweaty Box” by Kling On, Lakeside’s Religious Advisor
Down Downs, Continued:
Sweaty Box – having double the number of names than everyone else present
Heavy- No parking fines tonight, he left his car in Kalgoorlie.
Hand Cranked – left his car in a park where he may be fined
Ask Jane – ordered his meal under his real name, Tony, but did not even get his own meal
Astro – ran 13.2 ,km on a trail only 8km long
AristoKat, Sweaty Box and E&B – Even came late for the later starting run this evening
Charges From The Floor:
Mutha Trukka – Got lost on the Run and asked the Walkers where the Runners were
Barbara In A Box – complained that Point Post had driven her to the Ballarat Balls Up in his BMW, instead of his Porshe
Coffin Box – One Box drinks, they all drink
Cut Loose – revelling in her use of Rule No. 1 “The GM is always right”
All The Gm’s, Kokup, Coffin Box, Tight and Tender – One Gm drinks ……
Doona – Not thinking up enough charges, to use up the jug of beer
Prickly Bush, Barbara – Sitting down in the circle
Peninsula- Tight and Tender, Papparazza, Ask Jane, Barbara and Heavy from Ballarat- taking selfies rather than focusing on The Circle
Slap and Kling On – People who go all around the world searching for the insides of Mystery Boxes. It’s called Geocaching said Kling On who charged himself
Doona and Marbles – also late for the Run
Hat Prizes
Blood Sukka and Heavy were awarded Elegant Gift Bags adorned with Western Suburbs and Lakeside colours which were full of Fine Wine and Gourmet Delights.
Announcements
Slap is the Hash Ambassador for Paris, France – inviting travellers to Paris to attend Runs in the Paris area. There is easy access to the city sites via the Metro.
Doona – Support Movember, chaps by getting sponsors and growing a beard for charity.
Next run – 20 Wellington St Beaumaris
Scribe: Cheesecake and Punch