Date: 12-Nov-14
Hares: SOAS and Behind Bars
Venue: Burnley Park Richmond
E&B is setting a Richmond run next week. SOAS set a Richmond run last week. The following is SOAS’s run as remembered by your scribe. E&B is really, really, really pleased that SOAS has pinched, plagiarised, displayed reverential admiration for her proposed Richmond trail. The E&B trail is but an embryo, but SOAS is a bit of a futurist and knew which bits to nick admire. Advice to SOAS – if you see E&B anytime soon, she wants to rearrange your family jewels in a good way.
Sometimes these run reports don’t actually report the run. THIS is a run report………
Upon leaving Burnley Park we proceeded in a southerly direction down Park St, until Astro, having prior knowledge, sent the pack to Yarra Boulevard. Mostly the pack went south, but Astro sent his friends north towards Melbourne Girls High School. When Astro’s prior knowledge was exhausted, he lost all his friends. After school we took off along the bike path under the Bridge Road bridge, mounting a westerly elevation staircase past the fancy schmancy hotel and back across the Bridge Road bridge heading east whereupon we dived left through the Creswick St Reserve gardens and up and down a few hilly Hawthorn streets decorated with the sort of magnificent period homes that the working class refugees living in Richmond – eg. SOAS and Behind Bars – can only dream about. The hare then took us down Muir Street and had us running north along the east bank of the river towards Barkers Road bridge. We climbed the 100 steps to the small path running east along the south side of Barkers Road but this turned out to be the triple reverse double bluff, because we saw Ambidextrous passing us running west on the opposite side. Placing all our faith in a man who’s never been a Lakeside GM, we crossed and followed Ambi back over the bridge west to Richmond along Victoria Street. Down we dived to the Yarra bank bike path up to the Burnley Street pedestrian bridge over the Yarra. There was a check – the choice was north to the vineyard or north-west to the brewery. Off to CUB we went and up Flockhart Street, across Victoria Street and Leslie and Davison Streets to Buckingham. We went tantalisingly close to 115 before heading back to the Yarra Primary School, where we continued south and crossed Kent, Little Kent, Somerset, Highett, Murphy Streets where we ran around in squares – Birch Square – towards the Bridge Rd/Burnley St intersection. With the whiff of beer and sausages in the air, we raced south down Burnley to Boland St, meandered through what’s left of Channel 9, and suddenly we were back home.
Co-hare BB4 was busily toasting dozens of sausages and hamburgers which disappeared quickly along with Cut Loose’s salads.
Kokup sang a bit, Astro sang a bit, and then we paid them to stop. Lethal was welcomed as the new Melbourne Mens GM.
Ambidextrous gave a run report focussing on the brown to brownish tones of the Yarra leading to tasteful speculation about an on-back from the Werribee Water Treatment Plant.
Gargoyle gave a walkers report pretty much focussing on how fast they covered the trail vis a vis the runners.
The run was awarded 81.5% and the food 96%.
Visitors
Mother Brown, Sonny, Flora, Lucy, Mocha
Returnees
Pegmatite, Ambidextrous, Big Ears, 2 Bottoms.
Special Runs
Punch 191, Kokup 180, Shu Shu 8.
Charges
- Hares SOAS and Behind Bars
- SOAS for setting a 10km run, not up to his usual 13km standard.
- Lethal for being the youngest Melbourne Mens GM ever.
- Cheesecake for being tardy with the run reports.
- Behind Bars because she wants (needs?) to teach Astro how to sing.
- Cheesecake for doing the job of 3 scribes (Melbourne Mens Hash has 30 members of whom 45 are on the Committee including 3 scribes)
- Udder because he can’t read numbers.
- Aristokat for making smart arse accusations about the trail arrows.
- SOAS for not communicating with Lotsa Fun, temporary Hash Cash, about the cash box.
- Cut Loose for being a Sue chef.
- Astro for being co-hare last week.
- SOS for expressing a preference for fish and chips over BB4’s sausages.
- SOS then had the cheek to charge Udder, Aristokat and 2 Bottoms for raving about pork pies.
- 2 Bottoms for having deteriorated – he used to be fit, athletic, always leading the pack – now he looks like any other ageing hasher.
- Ambidextrous for looking like he’s spent a bit of time in the top paddock instead of out on the race track. (he still led the pack for most of the trail!!)
- Hooraytio on a wardrobe charge for not wearing hash gear.
PS. Melbourne Ladies HHH3 was due to run in Richmond on Thursday night following Lakeside’s run on Wednesday night. SOAS’s trail seems to have duplicated some of MLH3 trail and he gaily crossed through a few of their checks. That’s another contract on his life.
Scribe: Cheesecake