Run 1671
Hare: Cheesecake
Venue: Balaclava Hotel
It was with much trepidation that this scribe agreed to do tonight’s run report.
To step into Cheescake’s shoes is a big task. I was unsure of whether or not I could carry this out to her exacting standards.
But I shouldn’t have been concerned. Obviously the hare also had her doubts as to my ability so thoughtfully provided her own run report.
So, for those who were not present, those that forgot their glasses or those who simply can’t multi task and find it difficult to read and run at the same time, here it is – straight from the hare’s keyboard to mine:
Balaclava Hotel
There’s been a hotel on this site since 1869. The facade says “E Allen’s Balaclava Hotel” because Mr Allen built the current structure in 1887.
32 Nelson Street
Before turning into Nelson Street, look at the ‘Lady Of St Kilda’ sculpture on railway bridge, a schooner which gave St Kilda its name and the Island of St Kilda gave the schooner its name. In Nelson, opposite the carpark – a very run down red brick cottage – this was the childhood home of Graham Kennedy from IMT, Blankety Blanks and many other TV shows. He worked for years with Bert Newton who is appearing in the Rocky Horror Show at this very moment. There’s a commemorative plaque in the front yard.
30 Nelson Street
This house has eyebrows.
23 Nelson Street
St Kilda & Balaclava Kindergarten – this is the earliest kinder in St Kilda and it’s still a kinder. The foundation stone was laid by the Countess of Stradbroke in 1925, wife of the 3rd Earl of Stradbroke, Governor of Victoria. The current Earl of Stradbroke, Keith Rous, worked as a Sydney debt collector before becoming the 6th Earl in 1983. Aged 16 he was kicked out of Harrow school in the UK for running a betting scam. He then emigrated to Australia and sold encyclopaedias before starting a debt collection/detective agency. He married twice and has 16 children, many of them named after Suffolk villages. (His father had 17 children, mostly illegitimate). He created the current family motto, “We Fight like Lions and Breed like Rabbits”, replacing the 1,100-year-old “I Live in Hope”. When he returned to the UK in the late 80s to claim the family estate in Suffolk, he found a cousin illegally in possession of the property. The cousin refused to move so the 6th Earl challenged him to a duel. The police stopped it. He never went ahead with his plan to build a replica of Sydney Opera House in the grounds of the family estate. He’d make a fabulous hasher!
9 Nelson Street
Luke Mason built the Sacred Heart Mission Wishing Well in his front yard to help him recover from a brutal home invasion which left him severely injured in 2013. It took Luke three months to gather materials for his wishing well. The water feature is made from rocks, succulents, plant cuttings, bluestone and sleeper offcuts, donated by his landscaping clients. He struck a deal with a coin-collecting friend to clean up loose change, which he will exchange at the bank. Stop and play with the intercom, the lights and maybe leave a few coins.
Corner Nelson Street and Inkerman Street and 283 Inkerman:
Gronows Firewood and Gronows Furniture Removals. Since 1909 this has been the site of Gronows Furniture Removals and Storage business.
In 1956 Gronows had the largest furniture removal van in Victoria.
Walk west along Inkerman Street. Cross over Linton Street, keep walking west then turn left into Camden Street. (West for the geographically challenged is towards the beach).
Camden Street
Somewhere in one of the little timber Victorian houses Graham Kennedy was born in 1934.
17 Camden Street was a Salvation Army citadel from 1889 to 1976 and is now the Ukrainian Orthodox Church Sacred Assumption of the Holy Virgin. How appropriate that the city of Balaklava, near Sevastopol, is on the Crimean Peninsula, Ukraine. The Soviets used Balaklava harbour as a top secret underground nuclear submarine base to repair their submarines. The base now belongs to the Navy of the Ukraine. I pinched the following from kawapanga.com/balakclava-crimea-ukraine.
This strategic site is unique. The base was said to be virtually indestructible and designed to survive a direct atomic impact. The construction of it started in 1957 and ended in 1961 under a personal supervision of Lawrence Beria. According to specialists, the building could withstand a direct nuclear attack like Hiroshima (100 kilotons). Due to this it was given first category of protection. Base is in a hollowed out rock and covered with reinforced concrete with a thickness of 56 meters. In case of a threat of direct nuclear attack it could be hermetically closed by the automatic doors weighing 120 tons and 50 000 people could exist there for 3 years. It had its own bakery, warehouses for storage of food and fuel, also a hospital.
Today’s Balaclava looks quite beautiful according to internet pictures – the one in the Ukraine I mean, not Melbourne.
Duke Street
Walk south down Camden Street, turn right/west into Edward Street and cross over Chapel Street. Turn left, walk south down Chapel about 50 metres until you turn right into Duke Street. Lots of cute cottages but the best one is down on the right at number 6 Duke St on the corner of Lynott Street. Number 6 was the home of John Kelly until he died here of a heart attack on Christmas Day 1900. He died a Victorian. If he’d held on for another 7 days he would have died as an Australian. John was a saddler & harness maker and he had a shop around the corner in High Street St Kilda which he started in 1867. John’s greatest achievement was being the g-grandfather of Cheesecake. The house looks really swish now, but back then it was just s small cottage like those you see in Lynott Street.
Early 1890s – Little boy is grandfather Cheesecake. Walk down Lynott Street and you cross a small timber bridge over an open drain. This is probably where young grandfather Cheesecake’s poo-poo ended up, as the first Melbourne homes weren’t hooked up to a proper sewerage system until 1897.
From the bridge, walk back to Duke Street west towards St Kilda Rd, which used to be called High Street. On the corner is a very grey fortified looking building which is the Abode Club, a gay and lesbian venue. This was The Duke of Edinburgh Hotel and was the Kelly local, the Kellys being great supporters of the Monarchy.
Walk south crossing Carlisle Street towards St Kilda Town Hall along Brighton Rd.
St Kilda Town Hall
Catch an eyeful of the whacking great fig tree out front. The hall is still there despite an arsonist trying to burn it down in 1991. During the 1956 Olympics, the fencing events were held here.
St Kilda Primary School
Famous students were Sidney Nolan the artist, Keith Miller the cricketer, former Governor General Sir Zelman Cowan. It was used as a temporary hospital after WW1 in 1919 because of a world-wide influenza epidemic. Of 600 patients, 49 died. The school shelter sheds acted as the morgue. The 1918-19 flu pandemic killed 3-6% of the world’s population. Continue walking south on Brighton Road.
Walk past Holy Trinity Church which was designed by Joseph Reed who also designed the Melbourne Town Hall and State Library.
Cross over Chapel Street and past Grosvenor Hotel – originally built in 1860, predating the church and school you’ve just passed. Priorities?
Brunning Street
South of Brunning Street was Brunnings Nursey established here in 1887. These days Brunnings garden-care products are sold in the gazillions at Bunnings. The land was subdivided for housing in 1927 which is why there’s Californian bungalows and the next street is call Los Angeles Court because of its Hollywood-like houses.
From Brighton Road turn left down Brunning Street. Then turn left again into Woodstock Street and GO HOME.
So, there you have it – if only all hares would do their own run report……sigh!
Meanwhile, back at the pub……..
It was Cooch’s opening night and like all great performers, he wasn’t immune to a few pre performance jitters. But with nerves of steel he managed don the costume and take reasonable control of the rabble and conduct a circle.
The GM jacket had miraculously grown from tiny Cut Loose size to become a perfect fit for our shiny new GM. Born to lead.
We welcomed returnees, NikelB and Lotsafun as well as the long missing Lounge Lizard.
Visitor, Maple Muff who came to us from Toronto via Vietnam was also welcomed.
Saddle Sore was welcomed back from Sydney.
Astro gave the walkers report and Prickly Bush was very effusive about the brilliant run.
In total, the run was given a score of 1671/1671. Not a bad effort indeed.
Charges
Cut Loose given a ‘forget me not’ charge for misplacing Klingon.
Deeper for losing the rhythm . White men don’t have rhythm do they?
Kokup for organizational skills above and beyond the understanding of any Hasher.
Big Ears for missing checks despite the excellent markings being a hallmark of the run.
2 Bottoms and Astro for being wannabe GMs. Never mind boys, there’s always next year.
Cheesecake and Peanuts for finding their calling in life as door bitches at the AGPU.
Prickly Bush for managing to get Sweaty Box into her skirt. We hope Prickly Bush wasn’t wearing it at the time.
Saddle Sores and Maple Muffin were given the Melbourne weather charge. There’s something always to complain about. One said it was too hot (that would be the Canuk) and the Sydneysider was too cold.
Cooch for surviving his inaugural run as GM.
Klingon received the environmental vandal charge. Despite living in close proximity, he drove to the venue. Rumor has it that his parking spot was further away than his home.
Astro and Cut Loose were given a farewell charge before they start jetsetting around the world for 4 months. Send us a postcard! We will think of you often – as I am sure you will think of us.
Lethal was unusually quiet and so earned himself a low profile charge. Must have been something he ate. Hope you get well soon, Lethal.
Special Runs
Cheesecake 535
Lotsafun 569 (THAT’S’A PRIME NUMBER)
JWalka 20
Peanuts 90
Next Run: Carringbush Hotel, Collingwood.