Run No: 1680
Date: 12 August 2015 – The Glorious 12th!
Hares: Cod Piece and E&B
Location: Queen (Sweaty Box) Market
Well where do I start? That was the question on most hashers’ lips when they turned up to Queen Vic Market last week in search of a hash run. But, alas, there was nothing to indicate that such an event was taking place. Some lucky hashers got a phone call from a hare to indicate a change of startvenue; others met up with the other hare standing in the cold on the corner of Flagstaff Gardens who gave directions to the new start; other hashers (including a visitor all the way from Beijing) miraculously found the start at the Mercat Pub, opposite the Night Markets, in the middle of the Queen Vic Markets and nowhere near the address that was advertised as the start of the run. If any others turned up and didn’t find the pack: blame the GM! … might as well because he was blamed for everything else as the hares came back exhausted from setting their mammoth thing and got stuck straight into the happy hour priced Fat Yak and cider!!
But…for all the complaints the hares received for the start of the run, and the low (extremely low) score the run & walk were given afterwards, there were 28 attendees, including a visitor and a dog. Also, the circle (to some, the most important part of hashing) took place in the car park without incident or interruption from music, televisions, publicans, patrons, police or bouncers. And the foodchoices (what some other hashers say are the most important part of a hash) and festivities were in abundance at the night markets, after the circle, when all the hashers spread out far and wide to fill up on the food and ambience.But I digress from the run. Some say the run is the most important part of hashing (silly bastards), and they certainly got their money’s worth at The Glorious 12th of 2015.The run began outside the Mercat Pub in Queen Street where the GM welcomed members and guests before the bossy hare took over and briefed them on the run…a bit. The briefing was mainly designed to drink a toast to The Glorious 12th – the official opening of the grouse season in Scotland! You may not have noticed its relevance in the City of Melbourne lately, but some do still acknowledge it. (Well, one does.) Tiny glasses were handed around and then filled with sherry and the toast was made to The Glorious 12th, before setting them off and running on what was promised to be an 8 km run in the rain with splits for the walkers to halve that distance.
William Street to A’Beckett with a check at Wills, then down Lt La Trobe to Queen; down Lonsdale to Hardware Lane; back up Lt Bourke; across to big Bourke and down to McKillop; down to Elizabeth, Lt Collins, some laneways; up to Russell Street and more lanes and then across to Birrarung Marr; alongthe river; over some bridges to Southbank and back to the World Trade Centre; then over the road toDocklands and Aurora Lane; Etihad Stadium; Spencer Street Station; Jeffcott Street and on to Flagstaff Gardens; up the hill for what was once a view of the bay and then on home through the markets back to the pub.
The walkers were meant to get it easy with a walk along William Street to Lt Bourke and down to Flinders Street Station where they’d join the runners along the river and then go back up King Street to meet them all at Flagstaff Gardens and run in together to the pub.
That’s how it was meant to be.
But you know how Melbourne is known for its laneways? Well…why go PAST a laneway when you can RUN DOWN it, or at least set trail down it and have a falsey in the middle, just to go down the next laneway instead? And how could you miss ACDC Lane at the top of Collins Street? The lanes just made any green run look a bit passé’, so by the time the greenery of Birrarung Marr was reachedby the run-hare, so too were the energy levels! The nose was definitely directed for home. But both hares pushed on to finish setting the trail so the runners wouldn’t be left on their own in the middle of Batman Park.
Back at the end, beers were purchased from the Mercat and then we proceeded with the circle out in the car park in the cold, damp air.
Lost Jewel (aka Darren) awarded the run a record low of 68/186, saying it was lost at the start of the run; lots of lanes; then lost at the end of the run too and that most of the arrows had been washed out.
Punch reported kindly that the walk was not the best walk she’d ever done; the arrows couldn’t be found; and she awarded it 1/86. (!!!)
Charges included:
- The hares – Cod Piece and E&B for setting a shit run;
- Welcome to visitor Transyivestite from Beijing HHH;
- Welcome back to Maddi on her run number 4;
- Klingon for embracing his wife, while giving the impression to onlookers he was assaulting her;
- E&B for pre-populating The Book with the attendees’ names and numbers while they were out running in the cold and damp, and she was sitting in front of the pub fire drinking Fat Yakwith nothing else to do;
- GG for running his 1066 run;
- Sergeant Mutha Trucka for not knowing anything significant about the year 1066;
- Cod Piece for reciting a poem on 1066 when asked a question about it before the circle, but declining (or unable) to do it again for the circle;
- Palindromic run numbers 616 for Cooch and 909 for Pointy, 232 for Punch;
- Mutha Trucka not knowing what the hell palindromic was either ‘cos he’s just a truck driver! (He said it, not me!)
There’s a song that Tony Blair used for his election campaign in the UK in 1999, and it proved a winner for him. We could sing it here:
“THIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGS…….
can only get betterrrrrrrrrrrr;
can only get betterrrrrrrrrrr…
..now I’ve found you”.
On On
E&BStand-in Scribe