GG took us back to a character-ful and traditional old hash pub in North Melbourne which hasn’t been too gentrified. The run took us through lots of those beautiful, wide tree lined streets full of old houses which, so far, haven’t been too wrecked by developers. Interestingly, GG who barracks for Collingwood, took us around the perimeter of the old North Melbourne footy ground at Arden St. Slower, short-cutting runners, like Mummies’ Boy, had plenty of time to stop and admire the attractive Nth Melbourne lady footballers who were training at the time. Since the focus of the run is on football, and since it’s the season for ‘the lad done bad’ footballer apologies, I thought LSH could learn something from these finally crafted jewels of remorse and mortification. How could we adapt the footballer apology?
| The Bad Behaviour | The Apology |
| A sordid sex tape involving Codpiece, an old boyfriend and a guinea pig will soon be published by the Herald Sun. When Old Boar suggested they clean out their CDs, Coddy remembered the ancient tape from her guinea pig period. Not wanting OB to find the tape, she threw it in the bin at tram stop 15 in Sturt St where a Herald Sun cub reporter retrieved it. | I’d like to apologise to OB, to my sons Cod and Piece, to my grandchildren, to the LSH Committee, to the GM, to the sergeant, to the hare, to the runners, to the walkers, to Pointy who does a hybrid runny/walky thing, to the guinea pig. Sincerity rating 3.05/10 |
| Following an especially boozy LSH AGM downing Pineapple Cruisers, Klingon was photographed outside the pub where he dropped his pants, and told the photographer to “zoom in on this whopper”. He grabbed a taxi back home to St Kilda, tried unsuccessfully to fit the key in the lock, then started yelling and banging on the front door. When this didn’t rouse Flora, he smashed a window and climbed in. Except he was at the wrong house. | I’ve let everyone down. I’m so disappointed in myself. This is totally out of character. I clearly need help. I’m supposed to be a role model for heaven sakes! Together with the senior runners group I’m working towards a solution to my problems and I’d like to move forward and focus on my running. Sincerity rating 9/10 |
| Udder was driving home from hash one night when he was pulled over by the police at a booze bus. A cop asked Udder for his driver’s licence whereupon Udder advised it was in the boot. Udder alighted from the driving seat wearing a red shimmery satin ¾ length evening dress, a fur stole, gloves, handbag, a red floral hat rakishly set off to one side, with his fire engine red lip-sticked lips pouting coquettishly in the copper’s direction. | Haven’t seen an apology yet. Sincerity rating 0/10 |
Walk Report
Mummies’ Boy – walkers lapped the North Melbourne Football Club ground were a number of comely young women were practicing their banana kicks. This vision caused Mummies to lap the ground again and again. 1699/1700
Run Report
Mark – a very urban run. It was fun to get lost in North Melbourne. Ran past a soup kitchen. 1550/1700.
Virgin
Mark
Visitors
Foot Fetish Returnees – Swingers, Lost Jewels, Over the Top, Transylvestite, Pog, Back Beard
Special Runs
Pointy X 951, Cheesecake X 564, Prince X 557, Mummies’ X 385, Astro X 475, 3K9 X 25.
Charges
Pointy was surprise sergeant.
- Pointy who had his 1st run from this pub 25 yrs ago.
- Pog, Prince, Mark, Transylvestite didn’t mark trail or call on.
- Maddie an innocent bystander for getting sucked into the circle.
- Cheesecake for using a Teleprompter to control the circle.
- Cut Loose for wearing GG on her chest.
- Astro for letting everyone know he had his sausage in his hand.
- Cut Loose for saying out loud – I haven’t seen a sausage like that for ages.
- Back beard for screwing up.
- GG for messing up his on backs.
- Some vague charge involving Mummies and POG and irresistibility to women.
- 3k9 for flirting with attractive young barman by asking if there’s hash here tonite.
- Colours for introducing Maddie to the group.
- Foot fetish, the visitor is really fist fucker.
- Wardrobe charges – Maddie for wearing no hash gear and Pog for wearing way too much.
- Over the Top and Lost Jewels for low profile.
- Cheesecake for doodling.
- Astro for buying light beer.
- GG the renowned Collingwood fan for taking us past North Melbourne FC.