LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 946 4 September 2002 Pacific Rim Thai, Albert Park
Bovine Breeder
Two days out of Danang and it smelled like Bangkok. I was a man on a mission and running around in the dark had nothing to do with it. Id spent my time in the Nam. Id been out on patrol and had enough of it. Tonight I was up for some R&R. Tonight I was staying in the rear with the gear. Mama-san had set me up with some prawn crackers and a cooler full of cold brews. Let those other fools go looking for Charlie.
Cow Man had led the platoon on a merry chase from the sounds of it. The radioman and the point man had been taken out before they even got out of the ville. The LT was back in the rear with me, jiving with some crazy Lizard dude about the new knock shop he had set up right next to the old Inkerman place. Said he was “surveying” – checking out the action I guess.
God knows what those fools were doing out there. Didnt they know Charlie owned the night? Most of them made it back in one piece, though. Sounds like there was a medicinal stop out on patrol some quinine to keep those skeeters at bay.
Some crazy old papa-san calling himself “Whale” was taking care of them when they got back, bringing loads of chow up from the kitchen. Damn, this was better than any of them C-Rats we got out in the bush. The platoon was wolfing it down like theyd forgotten what food was. The Sergeant must have inhaled a couple of chili peppers from the looks of it.
Didnt take long before there was nothing but broth and bones left. The LT called the mob to attention and commenced with the formalities. First came old Cpl. Tangles friggin lifer to give his after-action report. The man sounded a bit confused, didnt know where hed been, but reported 8 enemy KIA.
A few of us whod been off on R&R were called up for a drink. Miss Piggy and Father told us about their time in the land of the big PX. I recounted my brilliant scheme to make a little money out of this war the locals need work too, after all. The previous company clerk, Pointy, was called up for some fiscal irregularities. Cunning Linguist was charged with desertion.
The LT gave the platoon over to Sarge, who pulled Cow Man and Deep Throat out for some practical instruction on how and how not to choose an on-in. Cooch, E&B, and the waiter were charged for no apparent reason. Gerbils and Tangles were disciplined for breaking up the Sarges social circle. Shunt, Deep Throat, and Bovine “Cow Man” Breeder copped it for one reason or another. Plugger, Boner and Father stood up to demonstrate the benefits of joining the Hair Club for Men. Queen Bee drank for forgetting names he sounded almost as drunk as me.
At this point Klingon announced the results of the 2002 Lakeside Footy Tipping Competition a blatantly fixed contest in which the compere and his family walked off with most of the prizes. Lizard man took first.
The evening was drawing to a close with an incoherent bullshit charge from Tangles and a clearly enunciated bullshit charge from Quasi. Marcus wraped up with the only clever charge of the night associating the “Bia Ba-ba-ba (333)” shirt with Baa-baa-ra. It seemed funny at the time, but then it might have been that fine Bangkok bhang-lassi that papa-san was serving up.
The horror the horror
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date
Run Number
Hare
Venue
Melways
Et Cetera
11/9/02
947
IBM & Swallower,
IBM World Headquarters,
7 Nelson Street, Sandringham
76 H8
18/9/02
945
Uncle Shunt,
Shunt’s Shed, 22 Wallace Ave, Murrumbeena
69
A9
25/9/02
949
Senor Misterioso
El Casa de Misterioso
?? ??
Quien sabe?
UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS
27-29 September
: INTERHASH 2002
If the Pakis dont blow the world up in the meantime, Goa in India will be the place to be on the last weekend on September this year. Check the website for details: www.goa2002.com
All Lakeside comrades who are going please contact the GM so we can present a united front of Lakeside solidarity (i.e. t-shirt and handouts)!
19 October
: Annual Balls Up, hosted by RPH3 in Mornington. Theme is Shagadelic! Tickets are $65 a head for food, grog, gift, and prizes. Lakeside shaggers to go in theme so put your thinking condoms on and think of the team fun we had last year, and well do it again.
3-5 October 2003
: Pan Asia Hash hosted by the Royal Selangor HHH in Kuala Lumpur Mark your diaries! www.panasiahash2003.com for more info.
Lakeside Hash House Harriers
The drinking club with a running problem
Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
Grand Master
Mummies Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978
Sergeant @ Arms
Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288
Hash Kash
Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495
Hash On-sex
Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945
Social Sex
Eggn Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134
Trail Master
Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134
Grog Master
Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784
Religious advisor
Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038
Web Master
The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694
Hash Haberdashery
Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363
Hash Flash
Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689
Hash Horn
IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796
Checkin Chicken
Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382
LSH3 Email
Web Site
Hash Trash contact