Run 972 Report

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

The Uncommitted

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

jsb-@pacific.net.au

Venue: Burnley Oval

With the threat of war looming, corporations collapsing, stock in Duct Tape P/L going through the roof, it was with a great sense of relief that the hash retreated to the pastoral surrounds of Burnley Oval for Thirsty Kirstie’s inaugural run.

Another international disaster was avoided thanks to detailed assistance from the Trail Master and Mistress who helped break in the virgin hare and ensure that the run was short and to the point. The pack started off to find a check before the first arrow, but it was smooth sailing from there. Several walking wounded, including yours truly and Plugger (with varying degrees of joint complaints), joined the usual back of the pack stragglers. Rounding a corner near the Channel 9 studios SBD and I discovered a sassy lassie briskly retreating from Mummies Boy and E&B. Having had no coherent response from the aforementioned raving lunatics, the young lady addressed us “What are you people doing?” We explained that we were hashing, but that it wasn’t hard, certainly not very long, and wouldn’t hurt a bit. Wouldn’t she join us? For some reason this response only put her off further. Mummies Boy had no better luck in chatting up an 85 year old gent further along on trail, but it wasn’t long before we found ourselves lurking in the bushes next to the netball courts so the day sort of evened out.

E&B whinged the whole trail that it was set for FRBs but only Bovine Breeder and visiting Corio Bay hasher Heart Murmur were there to take her up on her demands to “Go faster! Go faster!” The rest of the pack happily trundled along through the back streets of Burnley, loitering at checks until E&B showed us which way to go.

We soon found ourselves back at the Oval where Thirsty was setting out the Mother of all Hash Meals – a veritable smorgasbord of cold salads – in a vain attempt to attract some of the footy players over for a chat. Instead she sufficed with chatting up Tangles once he and Baabaara had returned from the House of the Rising Sun, indeed looking poor and ruined.

Once we (meaning myself, Mothball, and Tangles) had finished the delicious little cakey slices, the GM rounded up the circle. Thirsty Kirsty and E&B were awarded some outlandish score for the run, having learned that the quickest way to a hasher’s heart is through his stomach or liver. The list of returnees was as long as a UN Resolution: Endurogal was back for the run, but buggered off early, Baabaara was in town evading the Canberra Fire Marshall until the heat died down, Plugger was back looking for more workers for his construction site, Sperm was back to pester us again, and Shunt was freed up by Connex’s new “self driving train” they’d recently been testing on the Broadmeadows Line (some bugs still to be worked out). Heart Murmur was here to help out in the absence of the Lakeside Horn (misappropriated at the Red Dress Run), Penny, John, and Mark dropped in to see what all the fuss is about, and Gerbils finally finished her Bath and was modelling her English Tan for all to see.

Klingon got his 200th run shirt and Mothball got his 150th mug, possibly setting the Lakeside Record for quickest award of an nth prize (this being his 151st).

Boner was charged for letting too many illegal Chinese construction workers into the country.

Plugger and SBD were charged for exploiting said coolies.

Lethal was charged on behalf of everyone who keeps forgetting Marcus’ hash name.

Sperm was charged for giving MFU away when he could have easily gotten at least a few bucks if he’d played his cards right.

TDTD was charged for growing his own Bush

Father and Miss Piggy were charged for liquidizing their assets in preparation for departing this fair continent.

Several other charges were awarded but I had been repeatedly mocked by Sperm, Shunt, and Thirsty for taking notes and my memory fails me. There appears to have been a raffle, as I woke up with tickets in my pockets the next morning. Most of the hash pissed off afterwards with a few die hards staying back to finish off the beer – note to myself: I owe Stuckon $6.

On-On

TDTD

5/3/03

973

St David’s Day Run

TDTD Barbeque closest to Morell Bridge, south bank of Yarra River, Melbourne 2G E11

Parking along Alexandra Ave. or 10 min walk from Richmond Station

12/3/03

974

Mothball BBQ Area, Stanley Grose Drive, Ashburton 60 A12

Mothball’s gross run. Not to be missed!

19/3/03

975

??

Monday 3 March, 7 pm start

Farewell Drinks for Father and The Divine Miss P

Belgian Beer Café, 557 St Kilda Rd (cnr Moubray St., near School for the Blind)

22-23 March 2003

Rutherglen BASH Weekend

Victorian Hotel, Rutherglen See E&B or Cooch for more details

28 March, 7 pm start

“Lakeside Extreme Hashing” Oxfam Trailwalker BBQ and Wine Tasting fundraiser

La Casa de Cheesecake, 5/58 Crisp St, Hampton (near Hampton Sta.) $15 tax deductible “donation” covers tasting and BBQ. Wine available for purchase or BYO. RSVP to Boomerang, Cheesecake, Whippet, or Quasi.