Udder Idjit achieves 600 (ish) runs, mostly wearing red
In April 2018 we celebrated Udder’s 600 runs with Lakeside Hash House Harriers. It may have been 700 runs or 500 runs or 1000 runs – who knows, he doesn’t? Udder’s cavalier approach to numbers and record keeping supported a splendid career as a chartered accountant.
In the early 1990s, The Seychelles was desperately in need of an able administrator to
fiddle fix their finances. Young Udder, always keen to help far flung colonials of the British Empire, answered the call.
Udder settled into life in The Seychelles beautifully. The work day was generally finished in time for elevenses. Afternoons were filled with a few chukkas of polo, and occasionally some of the chaps would organise a tiger shoot in the hills. In the evening Udder would wander along to the Gymkhana Club where he and his pals enjoyed a few gin fizzes on the veranda. Then it was on to the Jodhpur Club for a Pimms followed by a languid supper under the stars with the local boxwallahs.
All this relaxed hedonism soon had Udder searching for the meaning of life. He found it at The Seychelles Hash House Harriers. He started running and he’s never stopped. Sort of.
By 1995, The Seychelles finances were all ship shape and tickety boo, so Udder returned to Melbourne and joined Lakeside Hash House Harriers where he’s been hashing for 23 years. By happy happenstance, Udder’s return coincided with the birth of LSH’s annual ‘Red Dress Run’ in February 1996. Like a ‘horse and carriage’, ‘pie and sauce’ and ‘Kardashian and Culture’, the Red Dress Run and Udder were just made for each other. The chance to run through the busy, crowded streets of Melbourne’s CBD while wearing a red dress was an opportunity Udder craved. Below is a selection of Udder’s amazing red dresses over the years.
Pink dress, red beads.
In the early years of the red dress run, Udder was very much feeling his way fashion-wise. Even at this stage, Udder understood that fashion could transcend life and connect to the essence and universality of who he was. This pink outfit was a very early attempt – the only things red were the beads. He was young, impetuous and questioning of the status quo as only young people can be – what is red anyway and what does it all mean?
Red dress, yellow beads.
The following year he was more conventional colour-wise but experimented with colour blocking. This time the only things not red were the beads. This was the first year he really explored accessorisation. His girlfriend at the time gazes on adoringly. Udder understood that with good basics, you have endless options. If you get the dress right, you can play around with the beads, scarf, and girlfriend.
What a contrast he was the next year. You can see his fashion confidence growing in leaps. This was the year he went for the minimalist, pared down look. His fashion philosophy back then was to let the fabric and cut speak for itself. He understood that style was a means to express himself without having to explain. Fashion itself is a manifestation of human art and communication.
Udder, ever professional.
Wow – what a stunner. Udder had just arrived at the Red Dress Run following a meeting with the Tax Office to determine if he was a fit and proper person to hold a Tax Agent’s licence. He was. As Udder said at the time:
“This outfit demonstrates the symbiotic nature of the convergence of art and fashion.” (No, I don’t understand either.)
This particular Red Dress Run was memorable for Udder. While driving home, with Irish and GG in the back seat, he was pulled over by the police at a booze bus. Sadly, Udder’s fashion philosophy at the time didn’t stretch to “be sure to change out of your red dress before driving home and being pulled over by the police at a booze bus” because he didn’t and they did. What’s more, the young humourless policeman asked for his driver’s licence which of course was in Udder’s handbag in the boot, requiring him to alight from the vehicle to retrieve the said licence while wearing an appropriately accessorised red dress. Udder, feeling a little embarrassed, knew he could rely on Irish and GG to treat the whole episode with great discretion and never repeat anything of the incident to another living soul.
Udder pouting for camera.
Like his fashion mentor Posh Spice, Udder never smiles for the camera. He believes that facial expression detracts from the underlying integrity of the clothes.
Udder takes a trip.
This was the year that Udder cleaned down the back of the old couch and found some LSD tabs past their use-by date. He took them anyway and this is the result. On this occasion, Udder followed the fashion philosophy of fellow Brit, Vivienne Westwood, who once said: “When in doubt – Overdress”. Udder must have been in a teeming, tumultuous, turmoil of doubt as he got dressed in the dark.
Yes, it’s the same outfit! The following year, Udder came over all ethical, believing, that if he wanted to save the planet, he had to get into sustainable recycling. He didn’t want those unwanted fabrics and fibres decomposing in landfill where they generate methane – who knew that clothes could fart? So the previous year’s outfit was re-purposed with a silver wig and red hat. Either would have been enough.
Udder is the ultimate fashion con, whoops, icon. Here we have a more mature Udder who’s too glam to give a damn. Wearing these pieces is Udder’s living expression of his art. His outfits touch parts of the human soul previously only reached by master painters.