Run 899 Report

LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARIERS HASH TRASH

Run 899: October 24, 2001 Lizard & Clangers’ Joint

Hare: Lounge Lizard .

 

We met once again, around the burning barrel, by that Far Canal, at the home of Lizard and Clanger.

So far, so good. No incriminating information given away yet. But we all have to be vigilant. I am convinced they are onto us. After we broke into a volley of Arabic at the McKinnon hotel on September 12 (see Run #893); we found the bastards videoing us from the top floor of the pub the very next week (see Run #894). Now we have had Tangles arrested on

Run #898

 

after the white powder incident, only to be bailed by the mates from the mosque next door to the pub. When will the hapless bastards finally put it all together? Far-fetched you say; well don’t forget that Shunt was jailed for international piracy (Run #882) and has intimate connections in the rural Afghan landscape (Run #881). I for one am running scared. Once you have decoded this message, destroy it. Remember, if you are discovered, Mummies’ will disavow all knowledge of you (and vice-versa thank-you very much).

So: the trail was run on

CENSORED -coloured chalk (dip in lemon juice and change font to read these bits). Predictably, it set off by the CENSORED and then ran along the CENSORED. There were many CENSORED and CENSORED before everybody was safely lost. It definitely did not go anywhere near 85 RUSKIN ST, ELWOOD. Cooch reckoned it was a patchy trail. Because Lizard was afraid of the white stuff, he had to bend down to mark the trail in the YOU-KNOW-WHAT. His back went early on, and so little trail got marked. Udder was running well below form on the run, which he put down to having contacted either anthrax or the clap. We’re not sure of the first, but the pack gave him the clap he so richly deserved on his return. Clanger was slaving over tubs of hot stew and when it wasn’t ready pronto, BB ran in and announced that the Hashers were revolting. We know! (boom-boom). Then they all sat round like old folk in a retirement village lapping it up.

Point Post went for discussing Deep Throat’s constant horniness with Major Fuck-Up. Last heard of and she was O.S. having an affair with a Huge Anus (Hugh Janus?). The Major put it down to her Italian blood. So – aah, listen, Pointy asked in a low voice (but not too low to be overhead) – have you got any Italian in you? MFU replied no, but that the night was still young and she’d only had one drink. Everybody was on the Horn on the night – Kakadu Dax was still ruing the missed chance at last-year’s Balls-Up, but looking forward to getting a couple of hands-worth of filly on Oaks’ Day. Lizard reminded me of the time Kaka found the young Papuan Lady with curly hair in his bath after a previous Oaks’ Day. Barterbitch, who isn’t a student of the turf, charged Kaka for his horse coming in last in the Caulfield Cup.

That really got him going and E&B charged him for sniffing bums. Irish was warmed up too and did his own jig turning on and off the lights during the circle. Rugarse piped up and charged “Gigi” and “Le Jambon”(E & B) in French. Then Clangers started thinking French too and tried to go down on Major Fuck-Up’s painted on harlequin pants during her charge. Lizard looked on beneficently and remarked that he didn’t mind Clangers lifting the chemise ‘cos it really was a case of 2-for-the-price-of-1, and proceeded to charge Astro for getting the dog drunk. (that really is a low act). Deep Throat also charged Shunt for his gay purple codpiece. Then Gerbils charged him for parking his unit in East Malvern. BB got MB for dancing badly, and MFU got Lethal for going offside for beer and hands down the back of the skintight pants.

War or no war, I’m not allowed to let on the huge stories coming out of Melbourne and Western Suburbs this week, or they really would track me down and exact revenge….

On on, Mummies’ Boy

UPCUMMING RUNS…

 

Run 900 October 31 The Boomerang & Catani Gardens, St.Kilda.

The Committee Melway: 57, J8

(Halloween Run, Dress up!)

Run 901 November 7 Udder Idjit Basterfield Park,

Dane St, Moorabbin

Melway: 77, C7

Run 902 November 14 Prince Templestowe Hotel,

Parker St, Templestowe

Melway: 33, B4

UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS

 

Melbourne A.G.P.U.

 

Ashburton Park, High St, Ashburton, Melway: 60 F9.

November 5, 2001, 6.30 start; small cover charge; Contact Dungfoot on 9898-8785 or 0407-803-098. See Shunt get run of the rails!

Albury-Wodonga 1000th and Blue Moon Run.

 

Shelley Forestry Camp, Avendale Rd, Shelley via Murray Valley Highway, Nov 30 – Dec 2. $100 before Nov 1; $120 after it. BYO bedding. Contact Ian ‘Krunch-A’ Crellin (02) 6071-8577 or icc@albury.net.au

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