Run 952 Report

Note: Whoever jos-@small-world.com.au is, I either have mis-typed your email address or you’ve set your account to knock back junk mail like the hash trash.

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

The Uncommitted

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

jsb-@pacific.net.au

returned from his Imperialism World Tour 2002 (Washington DC – London – Rome) to a cozy little bit of old Australia. The head-to-toe wood panelling of the Swan Hotel made him feel right at home. But he wasn’t so comfortable that he was going to miss his hot date that night, so he buggered off early to go chase tail, denying us the opportunity to charge him as he deserved.

The rest of the pack was happy to soak up the ambience, much in the way that the carpet had soaked up decades of spilled drinks and cigarette ash. This was a place with history, and a dead deer on the wall. The kind of joint that pulls in construction engineers who’ve been drinking since they knocked off for an early lunch as well as reportedly dead rock stars such as Joey Ramone.

Despite stern warnings to “BE ON TIME” the hare was no where to be seen at 6:30, or 6:45, or 6:50. She staggered in about 7 having obviously sampled every pub on her “self-service pub crawl” and stared at the pack with bleary eyes before shouting us out the door with a string of a profanity that would have made a sailor blush.

With an “AY! OH! LET’S GO!” the pack was off, dashing 100 meters to the traffic light, then across Chapel Street, waiting, then finally through the back streets of Prawn. The hare had set a weaving, disoriented trail between the train tracks and Chapel Street, across a courtyard bejewelled with tiny blue lights, down Lovers Lane, and past several neighbourhood watering holes, Apart from Baabaara and Tangles, the pack couldn’t be distracted with Devil Rum but were instead hot on the trail – until it started raining. Despite her best intentions, Quasimodo crossed Chapel Street one too many times. We just hope that she has learned a valuable lesson from this, to wit “Never underestimate the laziness of a hasher”. We are told the trail wove a cruelly intricate path to the east of that dread divide, but we’ll just have to take her word for it.

The pack had made a beeline for their pasta and chips in the Swan Bistro and table talk was all about sex sex sex. Cheesecake recounted her erotic dreams of Simon Crean, and Whippet told us of his visit to the “physio” where his “leg pulled” for $35. Perhaps these two sexpots can help poor Lipstick who didn’t go to the Shagadelic Balls-up because she “used to have it, but doesn’t any more”. Now, I’m sure Lipstick will protest that she was talking about an appropriately 1960s-esque outfit, but we all know she means she’s lost her mojo!

And now a moment to recognise the fashion patriots in last Wednesday’s hash. Toto who decided to show old Abdul Bashir Bashir that no one can deny Australians their basic rights to get pissed, get sunburned, and fuck strangers by wearing her matching Bali Beach Club t-shirt and carry bag. E&B was demonstrating solidarity with the majority of Indos (those who’d probably rather get schnockered on Anker Bir than blow up nightclubs) with her Jakarta HHH gear.

Other notables included:

who has got ½ of hashing down pat – that is, the drinking beer and picking up hariettes part.

for bringing strange men to the hash when there’s plenty to go around already

for using Alice as a bull-bar

who couldn’t find the pub because she doesn’t have “2P”

for going to the wrong Swan Hotel.

On-on

TDTD

23/10/02

953

Baabaara

Mandalay Restaurant, 436 Bridge Road, Richmond

2H D6

If you get lost, just ask a passerby “Do you know where I can find a Man-da-lay?”

30/10/02

954

aunted

olloweenie

ash!

TDTD

2F A1

Meet at the BBQ near the tennis court.

Bring a torch.

6/11/02

955

Mummies Boy

TBA

13/11/02

956

Plugger

Port Melbourne

20/11/02

957

Lizard

TBA