Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem
Run 1032, 31 March 2004 Hare: Boner Venue: The Lovely Curry House, 29 Military Road, Avondale Heights
The sun set over Lakeside on Wednesday night – and when daylight saving’s over, it’s really over. The inky blackness at 6:30 pm, combined with the venue in the far-off, little-known, north-western suburb of Avondale Heights ensured that we had dropped off all the sun worshippers, beach-bums, March-wonders, summer front-runners, international jet-set and Bayside hoi-polloi for Run 1032. However, the summer did not give up without a fight, and it left us with a brilliant sunset which blinded Mothball driving to the run and dazzled Gerbils, forcing her well off-course. And truly it was an eery, pink vista high in the heavens, rippling away to the west, stretching on unto the horizon like an endless red desert. I thought only a great water-colourist like a Turner or a Constable could have captured the scene, although The Boomerang reckoned that any digital camera would have done the trick, if indeed we had a Hash Flash on the job.
So it was a small but hard-core pack that ventured into the gloom along Military Rd, past Cordite Avenue, and down into the restful but somewhat menacing atmosphere of the old Commonwealth explosives and munitions range. Having dropped off the pack as usual, GG and I trudged through the bush with only GG’s trusty hound Clay for protection, keeping quiet so as not to draw friendly fire, while GG gave me the inside running on any indiscretion of a romantic kind ever committed by an AFL footballer.
This time, Boner had topped the Polo Club Hotel (you remember, the pub decked out with mock-Tudor architecture that serves plate-loads of greasy finger food for a pittance) by the Lovely Curry House; hot, hot “sphincter stimulation” at low, low prices. Massive amounts of beer and curry were consumed in a hearty atmosphere before the GM wrestled the bloated diners into a circle. Everybody with an “8” in their run number was charged, which was just about everybody present, possibly including Nickel-B, Kling-On and Janus; at least they were there.
Kokup, Punch and Rigby were acclaimed for their feat of giving Gerbils five hours start and still beating her to the run despite having come from Auckland! GG was charged for missing out heavily in the first week of footy tipping (and looking at Round 2 not much has changed!); Mummies’ Boy for showing his pink bits to Boner, although it was Deep Throat who took out the perversity award for teaching her young male students how to say “spunk’ (i.e. “cock-snot”) in Italian; Mummies’ again for relating loudly to all assembled his fantasies about his hairdresser and her head massages, not to mention his resolution to take up her offer of “Brazilian Waxing” that’s advertised on the billboard outside the salon. Whippet was charged for spending the weekend in Beijing and claiming that it was really quiet and that there was nobody around, and while on matters Chinese, Lotsa Fun was charged for attempting to learn Chinese from the Anglo-speaking members of the Hash. Trinidadian curry fanatic Mothball went for taking advantage of the curry night by rushing out for lunch and getting down another huge curry, including the same meal twice in a row (Chicken Korma, to be exact)! Sooty and Kokup employed ancient black-tracking techniques to find their way around the trail. Finally Stuck-On warmly congratulated Mummies for his upcoming “trip to Brazil”, and we all went home.
On on
Guest On-Sec: Mummies’ boy
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Interested in the Autumn Mountain Getaway Weekend Where: Mt Buller When: Friday 16 to Sunday 18 April 2004 cost: $40.00 let Shaggy, Gerbils or Lethal know.
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UpCumming Runs
7 Apr, 1033, IBM & Swallower, 7 Nelson Street, Sandringham, 76 H9, 2003 Rugby World Cup Celebration Run
14 Apr, 1034, Prince, Leinster Arms Hotel, 61 Gold Street, Abbotsford, 2C G6,