Date: 24-Sep-14
Hare: Prince
Venue: Carringbush Hotel, Langridge St
Grand Final Run
The venue was in the heart of Collingwood; the pub was festooned with pictures of Collingwood FC; the hare is a rabid Collingwood supporter; the hare sported a Collingwood jumper; the run took us through the streets of Collingwood and past the old Collingwood footy ground; Collingwood is in the Grand Final. Oops! Collingwood won the Grand Final last year. Oops! Collingwood won the Grand Final the year before. Oops!
You are trapped in a room with a crocodile, a tiger and a Collingwood fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do?
Shoot the Collingwood fan. Twice.
Like all of Prince’s Grand Final runs, the rain came tumbling down. As we took off from the Carringbush the rain started gently, and by the time we reached Victoria Park it was bucketing. Those of us with superior hashing skills sheltered under the old Collingwood FC entrance gates proving they were good for something. The others went looking for arrows – but the trail pretty much mirrored Collingwood’s performance this year – all washed out. Not all the wet bits were bad, we ran along the Yarra bike path near Dights Falls which is always gorgeous, and the Abbotsford Convent which is a treat.
How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven – one to change it, five to moan about it and Eddie McGuire to
complain that if the umpire had done
his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
GM called the circle and Astro was asked to sing from the hash song book. He sounded like Richard Harris singing Macarthur Park, so it was up to Deeper to sing properly, and then Chairman Mao, recently arrived from China, took over as sergeant.
Paul described the run – he reckoned it was fantastic because it took him past the Collingwood Childrens’ Farm 5 times. He scored it 10/12.
Marg described the walk – she thought it was terrible that there was no walkers trail. She enjoyed spotting the football player clues – Tippett, Hale, Franklin, Hodge, Roughead, Gunston, Burgoyne. She scored it 5/12 due to lack of trail.
A group of Collingwood supporters are standing on their tip toes up to their necks in water What is the problem?
Not enough water.
Special runs
Cheesecake x 505, Prickly Bush x 69+11, Toffee x 131
Charges
- Prince because it took exactly 17.5 minutes to break each of his checks.
- Prince charged by Cooch who reckons that if Prince was fair dinkum he would have reset the trail during the torrential downpour.
- Marg who used to work for Geoffrey Edelsten but didn’t get a pink car.
- Astro for being an honourary woman because he can’t read a map.
- Critter, Pointy, E&B, Kat because the Poms can’t get rid of the Scots.
(At this point the everyone burst into song for Loch Lomond)
- SOAS because it was his first time on a wet run.
- Prickly Bush for noticing SOAS’ wet nipples.
- Kokup for doing his back while pulling a root.
- Punch for making Kokup go into the garden to have a root.
Footy tipping results – Cut Loose got her money back, Astro came 3rd, Prince came 2nd and Tricky Dickie won the lot. Thanks to Klingon for organising.
Circle finished with some christenings.
RA NickelB inducted the following new hashers:
- Paul drives a bloody big truck so he is now “Mother Trucker”
- Marg used to be a nurse at Geoffrey Edelsten’s clinic and her speciality was collecting blood, hence she is now “Bloodsucker”
- Kat has a degree from Cambridge so she is now “AristoKAT”
Thanks to the 20+ websites devoted to Collingwood FC jokes.
Scribe: Cheesecake