Some time ago Mothball and Tigermoth moved far, far away to Upper Ferntree Gully to get far, far away from hash. But it wasn’t far enough because about 30 of us descended on their hideaway for Christmas in July.
The hilly terrain soon had the runners separated into two groups, those who run fast and those who wanted to savour the scenery. For those of us not hyperventilating from over exertion climbing the 60 degree bush tracks up the hill, the views back across the city were stunning, The slow running bastards – LubeBangOz, NickelBY, Cheesecake, Deeper, and Udder got left behind by the front running bastards. The FRBs didn’t care if we got taken by a testy Tasmanian tiger or a pissed-off pestilent possum. They left us for dead and we didn’t see them again till the drink stop of delicious mulled wine served from the back of Mothball’s ute.
Tigermoth served up Christmas dinner with crispy roast vegetables, chicken, beef and some wonderful spicy stuffing. This was followed by pudding and the best crème caramel in the Southern hemisphere.
The Moths went to lots of trouble to make the house look really Christmassy with a gorgeous gazebo furnished with some welcome heaters. Plus there was an open fire outside over which some hashers roasted their nuts. If you’ve got ‘em, roast ‘em.
Returnees – Udder, Deeper, Lethal. Gargoyle.
Hares – Mothball, Tigermoth.
Cooch did the run report – very hilly, boxy, great views of Boronia, Deeper had a great view of Udder. 18/20 lost points for hills.
Gargoyle did the walk report – we went up and up then around, then we had a stop, then we had a breather, then we went downhill. 20/25. 25/25 for decorations. 25/25 for food we hadn’t eaten yet. Tiger got flowers.
Special runs – GG X 1111, Swampie X 88,
Udder mystery sergeant.
Charges
- Swampie is going to Washington to help Donald Trump get elected. Charge taken by Trump lookalike, Pointy, who, like the Don, is overweight, orange and has a plagiaristic ex-stripper for a wife.
- Deeper took Udder on a Mothie house tour but didn’t get past the wine cellar.
- Old Boar for being a great singer.
- Prickly Bush, who, on the run advised Deeper that “there’s the on back there” but Deeper thought she said “there’s the on back there” causing Deeper much confusion. He’s from New Zealand.
- LuBangOz for abandoning Luboil on the walk.
- Mothball had arrows going up and down the same hill. Don’t understand this charge? If he only had arrows going up the hill, wouldn’t we all still be loitering atop Mt Ferntree Gully wondering how we’d ever get home to do the Census on Tuesday 9 August?
- Mothball set a run higher than Mt Baw Baw. (Assume this means altitude, not that Mothie had one of his ganja sandwiches for lunch).
- Deeper whinged about lack of chalk on the trail. He didn’t see chalk or the trail cos he’s a short cutting bastard.
- All Balls up committee need a spanking for being slack so Cooch spanked us all.
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The tradition continues as Tigermoth and Mothball treat Lakeside Hashers to a Xmas in July feast. Thank you for all your efforts. Mothball made sure we earned our supper by making us run uphill – all the way. A group of thirty hashers braved the icy conditions but were warmed by the delicious mulled wine at the drink stop and Tigermoth’s sumptuous Xmas spread. Another great night and the tradition continues.
