Some of you enjoy reading my run reports each week while others never read them so I’m not breaching privacy if I reveal our resident secularist Klingon’s recent Census form. The ABS asked Klingon to do it again because he got his questions and answers hopelessly out of sequence on his first attempt, a copy of which I got from a pimply Russian teenager who spends lots of time alone in his room with his computer.
Question. Do you consent to your personal data being released in 99 years on the off chance anyone’s still interested?
Answer. Hello hackers
Question. What is your full name?
Answer. No Bloody Way!
Question. What is the primary language spoken in your home? Answer. Klingon
Question. What is your profession?
Answer. Australian
Question. Do you engage in any hobbies?
Answer. Statistics
Question. What is your religion?
- Catholic
- Protestant
- Hindu
- Jewish
- Muslim
Answer. Drinking
Question. Which of these would you most like to sit with at a dinner party?
- Cancer researchers
- Nelson Mandela
- Women
Answer. A pox on all their houses.
Question. Do you engage in any sporting activity?
Answer. I like women.
Question. In the last 12 months have you ingested any illegal drugs or substances?
Answer. Just hash.
If you want to see this gag done probably watch the Two Ronnies – ‘Mastermind’ on YouTube)
For an account of the run read run report 1645 on 14/1/2015 when Cooch set the same excellentrun from the same excellent restaurant. Added extra this time was we got to run some of D&E trail. They ran theirs a bit later and certain Lakesiders may have interfered with their markings.
Returnee – 2 Bottoms, Behind Bars, Add On.
Hare – Cooch, who got a spanking cos he copied D&E run.
Walk Report – Lotsa – walked the run with Pointy, had to move fast to keep up with runners, avoided the goat trail along the Yarra, steep hill back up into Kew, funny check, we were short cutting bastards. Good views of the city lights from just outside old Willsmere building. 18/20
Run Report – 2 Bottoms – same as Lotsa but a bit faster. 19/20 Great food. Great chef, great boss, thanks for hospitality.
Charges
Lethal was surprise sergeant.
- Lotsa, Lethal and Behind Bars for sitting in the circle.
- Cooch for overlapping the D&E trail.
- Pointy for wearing bum bag like a sporran. Bum bag to be worn on bum.
- Flora for using her phone in hash circle.
- Klingon for wearing a dress.
- LubeBang Oz lives in Hawthorn but still drove to venue.
- Chef hijacked the circle wanting everyone to sing and dance. Should’ve been a charge for Lethal for losing control.
- Transylvestite is leaving us to go to China. He says Australians are bastards.
- LuBangOz , broke check and followed someone up ahead who was calling ‘ON’ but he was hearing an echo from behind.
- Prince – who can’t do up his shoe laces.
Sorry I missed a few more charges but at this point the garrulous chef started to share his life story with me, because Sweaty Box had stopped listening to him. Not only didn’t I want to hear about his life, but I was second banana so I left.
