Run Report 1666
Hares: Kokup & Punch
Naughtons Hotel, Parkeville
‘It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets’
Well, it wasn’t quite like that, but the hare was prepared for all eventualities.
Plan A ‘no rain but possibly few showers’. That one was the usual hash arrows but placed in strategic mostly sheltered locations,
Plan B ‘heavy rain at times that might wash out the arrows’. This consisted of duplicating the trail for, as we all know, heavy rain never falls next to an already marked arrow.
Plan C was for a torrential storm –maps at the ready.
Plan D was for the apocalypse of biblical proportions – plans for arc construction had been duplicated and laminated.
Apparently Kokup….. just doesn’t!
So off we go ……
STOP!! Not quite yet. First, a history lesson from the GM
Was it the influence of the hallowed halls of learning across the road from Naughtons, or did our GM simply not want to be upstaged by Lethal who began this tradition of starting the run with a lesson? We learned all about the significance of 1666 – at length. For those who are interested, here’s a list of all the events of 1666: (The rest of you can skip to the end)
January 13 – French traveler Jean-Baptiste Tavernier arrives in Dhaka and met Shaista Khan.
February 1 – The English royal court returns to London as the Great Plague of London subsides.
The tower of St. Peter’s Church in Riga collapsed 11 March, burying eight people in the rubble.
June 4 – Molière‘s comedy The Misanthrope is premièred at the Théâtre du Palais-Royal in Paris by the King’s Players.
June 11–14 Second Anglo-Dutch War – Four Days’ Battle
July – The town of Piteå in Sweden is completely burned by a large fire.
August 4 – Second Anglo-Dutch War – St. James’s Day Battle
August 19–20 ‘Holmes’s Bonfire‘: Rear Admiral Robert Holmes leads an English raid on the Dutch island of Terschelling, destroying 150 merchant ships in the Vlie estuary, and pillaging the town of West-Terschelling.
September 2–5 – Great Fire of London: A large fire breaks out in the City of London in the house of a baker on Pudding Lanenear London Bridge. The fire destroys more than 13,000 buildings including Old St Paul’s Cathedral but only 6 people are known to have died,[4] whilst at least 80.000 were left destitute and homeless. The re-surveying of property is credited with giving both cartography and the practices of surveying a leg up, as well as resulting in the modern definition by John Ogilby of the statute mile as 1760 yards.
September 6 – Cestui que Vie Act 1666 passed by the Parliament of England to provide for disposal of the property of missing persons.
September 16 – Apostasy of Sabbatai Zevi in Istanbul.
December 22 – The French Academy of Sciences, founded by Louis XIV, first meets.
And in the same year:
Mughal forces of Emperor Aurangzeb, in alliance with the Portuguese, under Shaista Khan and his son Buzurg Umed Khan expel the Arakans from the Bengal port city of Chittagong, renaming the city as Islamabad.
Moulay al-Rashid conquers Fes, marking the beginning of Morocco‘s still-reigning Alaouite dynasty.
Isaac Newton uses a prism to split sunlight into the component colours of the optical spectrum, assisting understanding of the nature of light. He also develops differential calculus. His discoveries this year lead to it being referred to as his Annus mirabilis.
Dutch artist Johannes Vermeer paints The Art of Painting, his largest and most complex work.
Lund University is founded in Lund, Sweden.
Jean Talon completes a census of New France, the first census in North America.
December 12 – A sobor (church council) of the Russian Orthodox Church deposes Patriarch Nikon, but accepts his liturgical reforms. Dissenters from his reforms, known as Old Believers, continue to this day.
Study up – now that we have lessons, tests are sure to follow! Off we set towards the Children’s Hospital. GG was seen to be heading off to perhaps peer into some windows? Not our GG, surely!
The trail skirted past the Zoo. No rain – so Plan A was the only one needed. But plenty of puddles.
Through the parklands, short cutters disappearing at regular intervals. Now where DID GG get to? Back to the Hospital perhaps?
JWalka and E&B set a cracking pace for the walkers, not wanting to be overtaken by Codpiece who was bringing up the rear.
After approximately 3.9758 km (according to JWalka’s digital whatsit), we returned to the bar and waited for the runners to arrive. And waited. And waited. And waited. Fortunately most were getting home on public transport. The bar was doing a roaring trade. Finally, just before closing time, the runners appeared.
As half time entertainment, a few joined in the ‘find my lost diamond earring’ game instigated by Blood Sucka. The winner was JWalka, but I don’t think she got to keep the earring.
Having all returned safely (even GG), meals were soon to follow. Wednesday night is Parma night at Naughtons. JWalka is writing a book ‘Great Parmas of Melbourne’. Or so she claims. There are those who suspect she doesn’t like cooking and is looking for an excuse to eat out a lot. She was pleased to discover that Naughtons offered 8 varieties.
Seriously, a parma is a parma, right? Giant piece of something crumbed and fried, piled high with chips and served with a beer. A heart attack on a plate – what could be simpler? But, this being Parkville, plain and simple won’t do. English won’t do either. Apparently not trendy enough. Not even your basic Chinese or French Parma – it’s ‘Chinois’ and ‘François’. I always thought a Chinois was a kind of pointy strainer?
Toffee scored nothing at the end of the evening – the diners have spoken! The Parma Is Good!
In the untimely absence of Udder Ijut, Deeper stepped into the breach as acting sergeant.
Darren was welcomed to the circle as a newcomer ex Japan and Turkey.
The hares, Kokup and Punch were scrutinized by 2 Bottoms who had a nostalgia moment, remembering the Melbourne of his youth. GG gave the walkers report which was long – despite the fact that he was the self appointed SCB for the evening.
Returnees: Welcome back to Son of Scala. Where have you been all this time?
Charges:
E&B and Blood Sucka for their songs and poems.
Deeper: Geographical ignorance charge for not knowing the location of Chile (obviously, it’s in the pantry next to the cumin and the coriander)
GG: Stalking charge for hanging back and enjoying the view.
Cooch: Inattention charge, for running straight though on backs.
SOS: Teleportation charge for passing walkers several times, without ever being passed himself.
GG: For spending too long inspecting the Children’s Hospital windows.
Cooch: SCB.
Barbies Box: Revelation charge for announcing that ‘size doesn’t matter’.
Astro: Geographical dyslexia charge for getting lost and having to take a tram back. Luckily he had his seniors MYKI.
Big Ears: For getting all the names right when the ‘chargees’ outnumbered those remaining in the circle.
SOS: Sartorial Elegance charge. For dressing like the Cat in the Hat.
JWalka: Loquacity charge.
Kokup: for only setting 75% of a trail prior to the run and hoping he could get away with it.
Klingon: For leaving to visit China and most looking forward to….The Great Wall? The Forbidden City? The Summer Palace? No, for most looking forward to the China Hashes…..
Colors: Low Profile Charge.
Disclaimer: This run report was composed through a haze of alcohol, the beginnings of old-timers disease and general laziness. It is primarily a work of fiction and any similarity between the written words and the actual events of last Wednesday is purely coincidental.
On!On!