Run 937 Report

The Hash Gods were not amused. It was the first run of a new Hash Year for the Lakeside Hash (Anno Lakesidium 19, to be exact) and Powers that Be were making their displeasure known by pouring their wrath down upon the latest band of upstarts and parvenus to take the reins of power.

The pack reluctantly left the warm confines of the Redback Hotel to follow a sporadic trail of “poo-ridge” around and around (and around) the back streets of Parkville. Desperation was setting in we spiralled in tighter concentric circles towards some unknown gravitational pull. The GM/Checkin Chicken/Hash Horn was able to escape this Black Hole of Parkville long enough to find trail heading out and away towards the RCH.

Seeing that what remained of the pack was well on its way, chasing some hapless co-ed towards Moonee Ponds, that Nice Mr. Boner and I returned to the Redback Hotel. Upon arrival we found the other half of the pack already relaxing over their lemony ales.

Being near the ivy-covered halls of Melbourne Uni, talk at the table soon turned to the neo-feminist dialectic in post-modern Hashing. Boner proposed to push the limits of his critical deconstruction of feminism in a neo-liberal pan-Asian economy through the use of the Spotty as a venue for questioning masculine assertions of the female body as art or object. Talk soon turned to former misogynist tendencies among alpha-male proto-groups when faced with radical inclusivist hariettes. E&B recalled her salad days as a Suffragette in south-east Asia, being whipped by Taliban-esque hashers for her perfidy. Tales of splittists and recidivists were recounted over beers until the food arrived.

Meanwhile out on the trail, Pissed Basher had given up on flour and had resorted to leaving a trail of bicycle parts back to the on-in. Unfortunately Queen Bee, Klingon, and Remover were left chasing porridge around in circles until halfway through the meal.

Once they had returned, a peaceful, easy feeling descended over the pack, and they knew the GM wouldn’t let them down. Mummies Boy called the circle and welcomed everyone to the Hotel Redback (any time of year, you get lemons in your beer). Janus gave the hare 9 out of 10 for the cleverly analogous trail – a spiralling descent into madness or genius? The difference between the two is but a thin line of porridge.

Charges followed:

• A number of committee members were charged for no particular reason
• Janus, Cooch, and Prince were called for numerological reasons and Tangles copped it for senility.
• Shagadelic, Bovine, Nicola, and Udder for no hash gear
• Miss Piggy for watering the hydrant
• Queen Bee, Remover, and Klingon for getting lost
• Patrick for questionable ancestry
• Queen Bee for not getting head in England
• Remover for losing the World Cup
• Piss Basher for being all wet
• Stuckon for not knowing what’s happing in Beijing in 2008
• GG for accosting fellow bar patrons Cletus and Jolene
• Deep Throat for demonstrating the Italian spirit of losing poorly
• E&B for not giving Deep Throat what she wants
• Boomer for not feeding his guests/not inviting everyone else to the orgy
• Stuckon for embezzling from the tin (a quick learner!)
• Nicola for red sash
• Your Faithful Scribe and E&B for hats in the circle (a new tradition?)

On-on

TDTD

10/7/02

938

Toto

Moonee Ponds Pizza, 45-47 Holmes Rd, Moonee Ponds (near cnr Leamonth St)

28 G7

$13.50 for food. See you there, possums.

17/7/02

939

Janus

Khyat’s (Hotel) of Brighton, 25 Wilson St, Brighton

67 F11

24/7/02

940

MFU

1 Dallas Av, Oakleigh

69 C9

: RPH3 Sulky Club. Cranbourne Racing Club, Grant St, Cranbourne. Talk to E&B about forming a team to enter the inter-club race. $44 includes food and grog.

: Geelong H3 1000th, Anglesea Recreation Camp, $130 by 30 June, otherwise $145.

: INTERHASH 2002

If the Pakis don’t blow the world up in the meantime, Goa in India will be the place to be on the last weekend on September this year. Check the website for details: www.goa2002.com

: Annual Balls Up, hosted by RPH3 in Mornington. Theme is Shagadelic! Tickets are $65 a head for food, grog, gift, and prizes. Lakeside shaggers to go in theme – so put your thinking condoms on and think of the team fun we had last year, and we’ll do it again.

: Pan Asia Hash hosted by the Royal Selangor HHH in Kuala Lumpur – Mark your diaries! www.panasiahash2003.com for more info. ==^================================================================ This email was sent to: wendyguo@alphalink.com.au EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?a84xTJ.a9tCD2 Or send an email to: lsh3-unsubscribe@topica.com T O P I C A — Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================