Run 948 Report

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

The Uncommitted

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Sergeant @ Arms

Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

jsb-@pacific.net.au

It was a dark and stormy night. With gale force winds blowing over the clinker brick expanses of Murrumbeena a small and intrepid pack set out from Shunt’s Shed. The hare himself led us for the first part of the trail due to the fact that most of the marks had been washed or blown away. He left us by a sporting oval to find the remainder of the washed or blown away trail ourselves. The extreme conditions had soon whittled the sorely underprepared pack down to a select few. Point Post wandered off on a tangent as usual, and we left Lethal (wearing his overcoat with pockets full of lollies) at the nearest schoolyard.

Only Queen Bee, Whippet, Father, Cheesecake, Klingon, Dave, and yours truly – all sharing one torch between us – made it to the hash halt in front of MFU’s house. Unfortunately MFU was at a ‘birthing’ class and therefore was not present to proffer a much needed hot cuppa (liberally laced with whisky) to help stave off incipient hypothermia. The survivors stumbled through the back streets of Hughesdale, braving vicious headwinds, falling branches, and liberal amounts of dog mess. With my extremities growing numb, I hooked a right at Vera Street and shortcutted back to the Shed where the support team was happily munching away on Ang’s tucker.

Fortunately there was more than enough to go around, and the True Trail Runners even got a bite to eat once they had returned and feeling had returned to their lips. A kettle of dim-sims beckoned the truly famished, though most of the pack was happy to pounce on freshly cooked steak sangas and kebabs worthy of the Nabatene Kings of the Ishmaelites.

Having been sated thusly, the GM called the circle. Whippet rated the run as 62.5 out of 69 on the basis that it was “nice” but there “weren’t enough sheep”. Mummies Boy embarked on an archeological de-construction of Shunt’s shed, which I failed to track much further than the “implements of torture and/or divine pleasure”, then handed it over to Baabaara.

• First, the special runs – Father for 30, Dave for 2, and Ty (his dog) for being a virgin hound. The Sgt-at-Arms included himself in this batch, having attained the giddy height of 225 runs.
• Even giddier was Point Post with an astounding 399 runs. Unfortunately Lotsafun is in Goa so his tracksuit will have to wait (and wait, and wait – judging by other nth run awards..)
• Gerbils was charged for fawking off to Limey-land. Now that Whippet has returned she can’t wait to leave the country…
• Returning hasher Ang was charged for returning after a five year hiatus
• GG charged Miss Piggy for “getting a spurt on”. Miss Piggy better be careful with that stuff – it’s hell to wash out of hair, and stings in the eyes.
• Gerbils was charged again, this time for her sheepskin undies, and then charges went to the floor.
• GG and Baarbaara were involved in complex maths.
• TDTD was charged for taking up hash horn again, and blowing it in a novel fashion.
• Mummies Boy was charged for sitting in the circle.
• Lethal drank for wintering in the high country with the rest of the toffs, hence contributing to the poor turnout at Melbourne games.
• Baarbara was charged for dumping loads on Shunt’s floor.
• GG was charged for being a Collingwood supporter – God, we won’t hear the end of it next week, will we?
• Lethal drank for overeating, and then charged for loving and leaving poor Miss Shagadelic.
• and finally Gerbils was charged for padding her travel fund with raffle money – despite nearly even odds at winning with such a small circle, the contestants mostly left empty handed in a blatantly fixed draw (tickets 4, 5, and 6 being drawn consecutively) in which the GM came in second.

Some announcements were made and then the jokes began, chasing the majority of hashers away, much to their detriment as, among the detritus, an old Melbourne Ladies’annual was soon discovered over which we ogled and leered until Bovine arrived with defective Harry Potter lollies.

On-on

TDTD

25/9/02

949

Gerbils

Bells Hotel, Corner of Moray and Coventry Streets, South Melbourne,

in upstairs room

2K E1

Finally, some real beer!

9/10/02

951

Wings

Rose Hotel, Corner of Napier and Leicester Streets, 406 Napier Street, Fitzroy

2C C5

There should be a back room for us

16/10/2002

952

Quasimoto

Somewhere in “Prawn” or Sooth Yarra

UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS

: Annual Balls Up, hosted by RPH3 in Mornington. Theme is Shagadelic! Tickets are $65 a head for food, grog, gift, and prizes. Lakeside shaggers to go in theme – so put your thinking condoms on and think of the team fun we had last year, and we’ll do it again. SEE WHIPPET FOR TIX

: Pan Asia Hash hosted by the Royal Selangor HHH in Kuala Lumpur – Mark your diaries! www.panasiahash2003.com for more info.