Lakeside Hash House Harriers
The drinking club with a running problem
Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2,the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are alway= s welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 975 19 March 2003
Venue: Catani Gardens
Hares: Klingon and Stuckon
The wife has thrown out my notes again, but serves me right for scribbling them on the back of an old run sheet in pitch darkness. Memory will just have to serve.
And what memories! What memories? Sandstorms whipped through the assembly area as Lakeside’s St. Kilda Invasion Force mustered on the shores of Cat= ani Gardens. Reinforcements Boner, Lady Godiva and TDTD arrived to find Kirsty playing with herself on the see-saw.
Klingon soon arrived to give us our pre-hash briefing. Our elite foce was given the extra challenge of trying to locate trail set in loose flour on the windiest day of the year. We were off and running, noses to the ground, dodging traffic across Beaconsfield Parade. There we entered into some fierce house-to-house hashing. E&B stopped to post some mail bombs as t he rest of the pack wound their way into the devastated wastes of Albert Park.
Formerly a grassy reserve full of local civilians, this park had been laid waste by the totalitarian rulers of Melbourne in order to deny invading hashers any soft lush grass or easy thoroughfares. Instead we tromped around in the dust and refuse, turned this way and that by fences and more fences. FRBs Cooch, IBM, Whippet, and SBD were at a loss as we lost trail again and again all traces of fragile flour swept from the earth by the bludgeoning winds.
Trail was found by running backwards from an on-back near Queens Way. Eventually we came to a check next to some boomerang shaped benches. The Boomerang hurled off to find trail but promised he wouldn’t come back. ; Once the path was picked up again, we were taken under the snarling confluence of St.Kilda, Dandenong, Punt, and Queens Roads and turned south again. Nick and Kirstie were spotted emerging, flushed and sweaty, from the California Girls brothel at this point, obviously disappointed that the girls, exhausted from a week of rooting Formula 1 hoons, were unable to fulfil their hopes for a swinging threesome. The rest of us pulled a Frogger across six lanes of traffic and tram lines to plunge into the back streets.
It was here that the trail really began to stink as we trotted up and down narrow footpaths, running into innumerable on-backs, and breathing in St Kilda’s peculiarly rotten mix of rubbish (all those used condoms and syringes). After Quasimodo led us on a wild goose chase right past true trail the pack began to bicker among itself. Discipline was breaking down! Fortunately we weren’t far from a logistics centre the hare dealing home cooked hooch out ofthe back of his car.
It was a quick and easy jaunt from there back to the on-site where the dust had cleared but the winds were still making it difficult for Stuckon to keep her buns in one place. The pack was soon served up with some nice little banh xang-duych and the gusts mellowed into breezes.
The Circle:
Don’t remember much of this to be honest. The hare and his culinary accomplice were given a generous score for the run. Astro was back in town. IBM and Swallower were making another one of their increasingly less infrequent appearances. Etc. etc. My poor recollection of the whole event could be chalked up to the on-on-on at the pub across the road, despite The Boomerang’s very logical argument that hash beer was cheaper and closer. But Janus was already packing up and those bright lights were oh so appealing.
On-On
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS