LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 939 / 17 July 2002 / Khyats Hotel
Janus
Janus and the Magic Jug
Once upon a time there was a hare named Janus who lived in a land called Brighton. In Brighton there was a very cozy pub full of geezers called “Khyats” and one unseasonably warm winter night Janus set a run from this pub.
A great many people from near and far travelled down the coast to participate in Janus run. There were two mommies with babies in prams and one mommy with a baby still in her tummy. There were men who looked like they had babies in their tummies, too, but it was only just beer. There were men in suits and men in short shorts, women in hip hugging jeans and women dressed up like television test-patterns.
After everyone had gathered at the pub, Janus sent them off on his run. They went hither and yon, past castles and along the beach. Some people decided they would rather walk, so they did, though Tangles was disappointed that they walked right past every pub they came to along the way.
When everyone was back they sat down to a big, yummy meal in the warm, cozy pub. They talked about the run and about brothels they had been to. After they had all eaten their fill and were feeling a bit dozy, the GM called everyone together for the good to be punished and the wicked to be rewarded.
By this point Janus had become transformed into the Grog Master for the evening. The Grog Master is usually a very great and powerful position. Tonight it was even more so as he had brought his special Magic Jug.
The circle began the night with a toast and a charge to Ankles, that late, great Geelong hasher. Then Shunt was called forth to describe the run “What a run!” but was cut short by a disturbance in the corner. MFU and her Aunty Virg were chattering away. It was a family affair as Aunty V was roped in to drink a charge for circlus interruptus, but Shunt had to take it for her. Bovine got up to finish the report and gave Janus one.
The magic jug refilled and the charges continued:
The GM charged Cheesecake for her Fur Bank and returning hasher Sailor was charged for having to resort to hashing again as he had been suspended from all other Melbourne area sporting clubs.
The Sergeant took over as the Magic Jug refilled itself again and again, the charges came fast and furious, and the night spiralled out of control.
- Kirstie for putting up with her dads friends
- Astro for looking respectable
- Whats his name, the GM, for his 69th run
- TDTD for his 49th
- Shunt and MFU for the babys close resemblance to Shunt in the ultrasound picture
- Plugger for being a Saints supporter
- Short Cutting Bastards IBM, GG, Boomer and Cooch
- IBM for his alternative lifestyle
- Deep Throat for impersonating a technicolor test-pattern
- Kirstie for malicious damage to property
- Sailor for not turning up for a year
- TDTD for spelling the name of the hotel correctly – Khyats with one T
- Shunt for not taking DeepThroat for a ride
- Boomer for going to Tibet for a yak
- E&B for wearing her cap in the circle
- Baarbra for his 1 week old shoes
- GM for ignoring IBMs suggestion to reciprocate for the Spotty dancers with an all male hash revue
- Nick for being too quiet
- Gerbils for being too quiet
- Toto for not being quiet enough
- The Witches of Elsternwick (Quasi, Toto, and Shagadelic) for sitting in the circle
- Astro for looking respectable (again)
- Swallower for not wearing hash gear
- Boomer for not confirming whether or not Janus was a virgin
- Cheesecake and Gerbils for their matching outfits
- E&B for Shakespeare on the Hash
- Quasi for intentionally ignoring the cash tin
- And BB, GG, TDTD, Tangles, Stuckon, Janus,.and many many more for infractions not recorded.
The Magic Jug had reduced the pack to a hopeless besotted mob and it was time to call it a night.
On-On
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date Run Number Hare Venue Melways Et Cetera 24/7/02 940 MFU 1 Dallas Av, Oakleigh 69 C9 31/7/02 941 TDTD Cricketers Arms Hotel,
Punt Road , Richmond
2G G8 We need a volunteer scribe for the night – any volunteers? 7/8/02 942 Deep Throat TBA
UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS
MONDAY 22 July
Ankles Funeral: Hepner Funeral Services 130 Bellarine Highway, Newcomb.1.00pm Burial: Point Lonsdale Cemetery. Wear Hash Gear The Wake: St Mary’s Football Club, Kardinia Park, South Geelong. 3.30pm
27 July: RPH3 Sulky Club. Cranbourne Racing Club, Grant St, Cranbourne. Talk to E&B about forming a team to enter the inter-club race. $44 includes food and grog.
2-4 August: Geelong H3 1000th, Anglesea Recreation Camp, $130 by 30 June, otherwise $145.
6-8 Sep SKI WEEKEND: Nutcracker Ski Club, Mt Buller. $125. BYO grog, sheets, pillow case, towel, etc. Book with the club booking officer. Sue Ellem 9512 0063. Lethal is taking deposits of $50.
27-29 September: INTERHASH 2002
If the Pakis dont blow the world up in the meantime, Goa in India will be the place to be on the last weekend on September this year. Check the website for details: www.goa2002.com
All Lakeside comrades who are going please contact the GM so we can present a united front of Lakeside solidarity (i.e. t-shirt and handouts)!
19 October: Annual Balls Up, hosted by RPH3 in Mornington. Theme is Shagadelic! Tickets are $65 a head for food, grog, gift, and prizes. Lakeside shaggers to go in theme so put your thinking condoms on and think of the team fun we had last year, and well do it again.
3-5 October 2003: Pan Asia Hash hosted by the Royal Selangor HHH in Kuala Lumpur Mark your diaries! www.panasiahash2003.com for more info.