LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 917: February 16, 2002 Oxford Scholar Hotel, CBD
Hare: Barterbitch/ Highly Infectious – 7th Annual Red Dress Run
Luminaries, socialites, cognoscenti, and anyone else who is anyone else were at Lakesides Seventh Annual Red Dress Run on Saturday night. All categories of womanhood were represented: the Fairy Queen (Shunt), the demure ladies (Queen Bea, Janus, Mummies Boy); the tarts and hornbags (Jumbo, Kling-On); the old hags (Tug, Udder Idjit), old chooks pushing prams (IBM, Droughtbreaker, Omen) and pregnant ladies (Swallower, Whorelese, Baa-baa-ra). The press went wild, with Boomerang flashing and Quasimodo working the video – a healthy turnout with numbers swelled by a big contingent from the Peninsula.
The Red Dress is one run where many Hashers achieve their personal best times; with the thought of being blind-sided or stranded from the pack, and having to face the milling crowds in the Bourke St Mall clad only a little off-the-shoulder number with matching gloves and handbag, spurring one and all on to competitive running. The 7th Annual Red Dress went to many places: entertaining the smart set at the fountains on Southbank; upstaging the Goths posing on the Flinders St Station steps; mixing with the chorus from Mama Mia outside the Princess theatre; and rescuing the flop that was the Chinese Lunar New Year party in Swanston St. A group of Red Dressers descended on a band playing their hearts out for a dead silent and impassive audience sat in camp chairs; until Tug, after the usual explanations to a bemused police force, hit the dance floor acting like a berserk overweight transvestite with his troupe of merry followers.
Shunt took all before him on the night, appearing in a magnificent gown of many layers and colours complete with fairy wings. With permed red hair and glitter make-up, he looked like a cross between the Emperor Nero and an overdone panto queen. Shunt naturally took First prize, leaving the rest scrambling for the minor places. Fortunately there were many of these. The full list was:
1st Prize: Shunt (incomparable)
2nd Prize: Tug (more through his frenetic efforts than costume)
3rd Prize: Bunghole (was Jason Dunstall there?)
4th Prize: Janus (Stand-in GM, rigged out in an elaborate Period costume)
5th Prize: Jumbo (not a particularly outstanding dress, but showed plenty of arse)
6th Prize: Piste Basher (complete with face mask, a là Eyes Wide Shut).
7th Prize: Queen Bea ( a simple but effective gown)
8th Prize: sorry didnt catch it!
9th Prize: Duchess (an actual woman, but with by no means the biggest tits on the night)
10th Prize: Baa-baa-ra (most heavily pregnant woman present)
11th Prize: IBM (best wig)
12th Prize: The Boomerang (best stockinged legs + garter)
13th Prize: Secret Agent (best infant boy dressed like a little girl).
14th Prize Pigs Arse (pigs arse! I dunno).
Those few attendees on the night who didnt actually receive a costume prize, a drink, or a raffle prize were last reported to be receiving counselling.
On on, and au revoir
Mummies Boy
UPCUMMING HASH RUNS
Run 918 February 20 Whippet Gasworks Park, (BBQ off Richardson St)
South Melbourne; Melway 2J: H7
Run 919 February 27 Combined with D&E Heidelberg Football Club,
D&E AGPU
Warringal Park, Beverley Rd. Heidelberg
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Melway 32: C4
UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS
Beat the Ferry Hash Dash
: Sun. March 24, 2002 Western Suburbs H3 : Western Suburbs H3 will once again host the Beat the Ferry Hash Dash as part of the Williamstown Festival, about 11 am, 4K, A to B. Fliers will be coming. I believe one of Trouser Snakes kids who won last year too so lets see a great turnout this year too! (anyone out there can out-run a 9 year old?)
Melbourne Full Moon Hash Run No 20
24 Feb $pm !!! (Could that be 4pm, without the Caps Lock on???!!) O’Donahue’s Picnic Grounds, Map 75, 3G
Hare: Firecracker