Lakeside Hash House Harriers The drinking club with a running problem
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2006-2007
Grand Master: Phillip “Prince” Johnson Relig. Advisor: David “Point Post” Shearn Hash Cash: Mirian “Tiger Moth” Cruz Grog Master: David “Mothball” De Freitas Checking Chicken: Lai “Lotsa Fun” Leicester Sgt@Arms: Nick “NickleB” Leicester & Phillip “Mummies Boy” Edwards Soc Sec: Dana “Dangerous” Clementz On Sec: Liz “Cheesecake” Kelly Hash Haberdash: Lorraine “Egg & Bacon Pie” Hare Raiser: “The Shah”, “Flem “& “It Wasn’ Me” Hash Flash: Eva “Codpiece” Cox Web Master: John “Klingon” Perkins
Run 1221, 22 August 2007 Hare: Prince Venue: Leinster Arms, cnr Gold and Hotham St, Collingwood.
If you want latte sipping, chardonnay quaffing, lefty, pinkos who hug trees, wear home spun tie-dyed kameez and eat lentils, then Clifton Hill is for you. For, although we were deep in Collingwood’s heart, our Prince made us go through Clifton Hill with only the on-home going past Victoria Park.
Leinster Arms is Chopper Read’s pub. Chopper has a lot of great qualities, not including ears. Once upon a time, Frankie Howerd, an ancient actor from the Carry On films, got into a lift with Donny and Marie Osmond. “You’ve got Van Gogh’s ear for music” he told them. “Thankyou” they smiled sweetly.
Turns out the Leinster was John Wren’s pub pre Chopper. In the vestibule were portraits of Collingwood greats John Wren, Archbishop Daniel Mannix and Eddie Maguire all gazing lovingly at one another. (Once upon a time Frank Hardy wrote ‘Power Without Glory’ about an SP bookie called John West, giving rise to one of Melbourne’s most massive defamation cases in the 1950s that had Frank in/near jail for a while). Chopper doesn’t have ears and he doesn’t have any artistic talent either. A couple of his self portraits hung next to the archbishop. A five year old on amphetamines holding a crayon while standing upside down with a Rottweiler chopping at its vitals could have done better.
After a long lay off, Rolf Harris turned up to count the broffels. Too late, they don’t have that sort of thing in Clifton Hill.
E&B turned up late. So the Pope’s a Catholic. She had no money. STP’sAC. She couldn’t borrow from hash cash again cos the hash cash was away on a training course. At least that’s what she told Mothball. This time E&B put the hard word on Sooty for $50 threatening that she would reveal that he once got drunk and went to a New York strip club and behaved like a perfect gentleman. Terrifying stuff. I think what she’s doing is putting the borrowings on the short term money market to hedge a few derivatives creating a vertical fiscal imbalance with a short-term liquidity squeeze at one end and a shocking credit rating at the other.
The hamburgers were so big you couldn’t see over the top, and the waitress said anyone who could swallow one in a gulp, got their dinner for free. Mummies Boy was up for it. Like a self styled giant anaconda devouring a goat, he distended those massive prehensile jaws and ingested 3 beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, tomato, beetroot and buns. He still didn’t get his dinner for free but. Flem ingested an extremely hot Mexicana pizza and should remember it come Thur morning.
Prince, the hare, got lots of constructive criticism about too many checks, on-backs but kept the pack together. He got 8.75 out of 10.
Returnees Hank, Stanley, Rolf Harris, It Wasn’t Me, Flem, Mummies Boy, Boxy.
Special Runs NicklBy x 242 and the following who are gagging to get to 300 – Mummies Boy x 296, Cooch x 290, Whippet x 274, E&B x 267.
Charges * Flem for scaring the girl on the bike in the dark * Boxy for trying to do to Checking Chicken Lotsa what the bible says you’re not supposed to do. * Mothball for diarising his hole cleaning. * Cooch for sucking the pack up a blind alley. * It Wasn’t Me for trying to nick Mummies Boys footy tips for Flem. * Sooty and Flem for wearing traitorous D& E T-shirts. * Codpiece for vandalising Hash property by mucking around with the uniform. * Cooch for not giving E&B enough house-keeping money. * GG because Richmond beat Collingwood. * Cheesecake for making sexual advances on Whippet.
We had chocolate cake because it was Cooch’s 50th birthday on Tues. It had 3 sparklers and no candles. Very yum.
Next Run The Danish Club, 177 Beaconsfield Parade, Middle Park Melway map 2K, B12. between Mills and Wright sts. The Danish Club is the local home of Australia’s Zone Princess Mary, Crown Prince Frederick, baby Prince Kingaroo and baby Princess (every one in Denmark hates her name) Isabella. Please show your deep respect for royalty by wearing a tiara. Dont forget to bring money to pay your subs. (Or demand money with menaces if you’re E&B).
Announcements 22/23 September Bike Hash Beechworth. October –
Scribe: Cheesecake
Announcements:
New LSH3 rugby top for sale! Available in several colours; collar is denim. $30. ‘How to order’ details to follow from ‘E’n’B.
Upcoming Events
Next Full Moon run: Run No. 91, at 3pm 23 September 2007. Hares: Meri & Chaisw Lyons. Location: The recreation grounds in Cockatoo, Map 311 G 6
Upcoming Runs See Upcoming runs page