Venue: 13 Mitford St Kilda
New Years Eve Run
It was unlikely that a bunch of ageing hashers could stay awake till midnight to see in the New Year. For them it’s – on with the dressing gown, fill the hot water bottle and put the teeth in the glass of water by the bed – by 9.30pm tops. So the evening was looking uneventful until someone let the dog out. Add-On’s dog “Patch”, a small black and white fox terrier with a patch, was having a holiday with Toffee at Klingon’s house, but young Patch wanted to sample the seamier, edgier St Kilda. Someone opened the front door, and, well, Patch runs way faster than any hasher. No Patch anywhere! Much consternation, especially for Klingon, worried that Add-On would get back from China and find no “Patch”. He offered up a few prayers to St Anthony, the patron saint of finding lost stuff.
The decision was made that the runners would run and the walkers would go look for the dog. The walkers accosted passers-by, asking if they’d seen the dog – the dog was smallish, largish, more white than black, more black than white, roundish, thinnish, tall, short, left eye patch, or maybe right eye patch. It being New Years Eve, and St Kilda being the suburb where people are naughty, there were lots of policemen about and they were all dead keen to find the missing dog. Noting the above descriptions they started looking for this, until they realised the dog is called “Patch” not “Patches”.
By and by the walkers passed a church bursting with parishioners singing their way through a solemn New Years Eve service. Logic abandoned Udder when he thought a dog associated with Klingon would be in a church, but he reckoned he’d spotted the terrier in the church’s Christmas manger. He just barged in, picked it up and started walking out chased by a distraught churchgoer wanting her terrier back. Being long on action and short on detail, like the Old Bill above, Udder failed to note the patch situation.
Barbie’s Box helpfully harassed a baby policeman describing the pooch as being pure white and answering to the name “Patch”. Yes Patch has a pure white coat and a pure white patch over the left peeper , but sadly the pure white patch is invisible, being drowned in it’s pure white background.
Meanwhile the runners were having fun in St Kilda Botanical Gardens. NickelB did a face plant in the gravel. Cooch earnestly followed every trail marking and couldn’t understand why everyone else ignored his “on ons” and short-cutted instead. Kokup spotted the out-trail and immediately had a little rest on a park bench while watching hashers ran around in circles looking for arrows. We meandered down to Elwood Canal and on to Elwood Beach thence back via St Kilda Beach to Kilingon’s house. We had pizzas and salad followed by Flora’s birthday cake. NickelB and Barbie’s Box both told jokes.
Nashi, Fawcett, Astro
LuBanOz x 266, Punch x 199
Fawcett described the run – he loved the run because of all the things they don’t have in Broome – eg. The view of Melbourne from Point Ormond, St Kilda Gardens, traffic lights, Cops on bikes, jay walking, no drinking alcohol in public places.
Swingers described the walk – he loved the walk, particularly the walking surfaces which the walkers had to scour closely looking for “Patch”.
- SOS charged for not signing the book.
- Grand Mistress because the hash Christmas Party video has had 9 hits on You Tube.
- Astro because he’s been with Cut Loose for 6 years and he’s coming up to the 7 year itch.
- Klingon for making a New Years resolution to feed his dog more often.
- E&B for making a New Years resolution to turn up on time.
- Colours for making a New Years resolution to stay till the end of the circle.
- Gargoyl for making a New Years resolution to listen to Udder when he tells her to do something.
- Flora for having a birthday today.
- Udder for trying to kidnap a dog at a prayer meeting.
- Barbie’s Box for trying to pick up young policemen.
- LuBanOz for running infront of a fast car.
- Fawcett for leaving us and going back to Broome.
- SOS on a wardrobe charge for having beer and lanyard hanging down around his ankles.
- NickelB for leaving blood on the trail.
- Lotsa for providing a brilliant 3 course Christmas Eve dinner.
PS – Klingon’s prayers have been answered, Patch is now home again.