Run 1728 | 1st Jun 2016 | Klingon @ London Hotel Port Melbourne

It was a lovely, albeit cool night. Unlike the RA last week who was asleep at the wheel, Klingon got
down on his knees saying lots of prayers to St Medard, the patron saint protecting against bad
weather. St Medard possesses an eclectic skill set because he’s also the patron saint of prisoners,
peasants and pissants (brewers and vineyards), as well as toothaches and sterility.

London Hotel, Port Melbourne

Klingon’s run was from the soon-to-be-demolished London Family Hotel, another hash hotel going to
heaven. The London has seen births – the licensee in the 1870s/80s was Alfred Levy, the son of a
Tasmanian convict (is there any other sort of Tasmanian). Alfred and his wife spawned several small
Levys upstairs. The hotel has seen deaths –in 1895 the Coroner conducted an inquest there into the
deaths of two men who bought cream of tartar from the local druggist, but were given arsenic
instead. The druggist had accidently swapped the bags containing the drugs. And in 1913, the Port
Melbourne Cricket Team held their annual smoke night there. Imagine Shane Warne on only one fag
per year. Finally, you know how some people are drawn to occupations which mirror their surname
or character, well in a 1903 Argus, Constable Meney had trouble with the Bluejackets.

Blue Jackets Ashore

Returnees

Old Boar, Pink Fanny, Quick Lay, Hooraytio, Shu Shu, Peanuts, Mothball.

Run Report

Sweaty Box – it was an odd run along the beach – Because SB started at 7.10pm it was
mostly a solo run, then she ran with Prince. There were very few on back or checks, and one hash halt.
14/28 epic failure. Award for most conservative use of flour.

Walkers Report

Codpiece – walk report – went through Garden City, but yummy mummies have moved in so now it’s now
Beacon Cove or Port, many salubrious properties, wandered streets, chalk ran out after Pluto memorial,
and anyway, Pluto has been delisted as a planet, so we didn’t go past a planet, getting thirsty, not too many
hills. 20/28.

Charges

Mystery sergeant – Udder

  • Wardrobe charges – Cooch for wearing Ballbreaker shirt in Bali he ran 22 km in 6 hrs through jungle and
    hills, Old Boar and Klingon were wearing hideous Bali shirts.
  • Stalwarts who turn up to hash even if it’s raining– Cooch, Swamp Rat, GG, Pointy, Gargoyle, Udder and
    Cheesecake.
  • Sweaty Box for saying that Udder pulled a bird.
  • New shoes charge for – Pink Fanny.
  • Back Beard made to drink out of Pink Fanny’s other shoe.
  • Swamp Rat – for being a virgin hare last week.
  • Prince for evesdropping on secret committee business.
  • Special runs – Klingon x 846, Cut Loose x 200, Spread x 50. Astro x 486. Old Boar for being a New
    Zealander.
  • In honour of the disappearing London Hotel, the Londoners – Udder who was spawned there and Klingon
    who once passed through there, sang “Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner”, some of it in tune, and
    occasionally they remembered the words.
  • In the caption competition involing Udder and Tickle – the winners of the Jaffa Cakes were – Sweaty Box
    for suggesting that Udder could pull a bird, Pointy, for alleging that Tickle was sporting a giant wart (in
    Pointy’s absence, Jaffa cakes given to Pointy look-a-like, Add-On), and Udder for being a sport.
  • Swamp Rat for having a vicious bird.

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