Lakeside Hash House Harriers
The drinking club with a running problem
Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
Grand Master
Mummies Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978
Sergeant @ Arms
Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288
Hash Kash
Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph:9534 5495
Hash On-sex
Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945
Social Sex
Eggn Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134
Trail Master
Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134
Grog Master
Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph:0419 698784
Religious advisor
Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038
Web Master
The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694
Hash Haberdashery
Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363
Hash Flash
Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689
Hash Horn
IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796
Checkin Chicken
Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382
LSH3 Email all@lakesidehash.asn.au
Web Site www.LakesideHash.asn.au
Hash Trash contact jsbibm@pacific.net.au
LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 942 7 August 2002 Bivios Posh Pizza, Kew
Deep Throat
Our arrival at Bivios Pizza, on High Street of Far Kew, was accompanied by premonitions of doom. A surly waiter, nicely dressed couples having civilised dinners, men in suits reading the Financial Times, all presaged a return to the horrors of Moonee Ponds. The GM had a contingency plan in place: Deep Throats house was a short distance away.
We left the crowded confines of Bivios for a run that turned out to be much like Kermits fingers: long, green, and went everywhere in the dark. It was a short jaunt to the first check, where 15 minutes were spent getting to the other side of another Melbourne intersection from hell. This was as far as Tangles and Baabaara made it, lured away from the pack by the promise of Turkish policewomen in tiny white socks at the Clifton.
The rest of us flogged up and down a series of dark streets Kew residents obviously dont pay their rates until coming to the obligatory Yarra Bend portion of the run. Another nasty check nearly resulted in the pack cutting off a good section of the run when an overeager hasher checked it out right to the pedestrian bridge. Nearsightedness alone relegated the pack to running the whole damn thing out, arriving after 5km to a spot 50m from the aforementioned check.
From there it was a loooong on-up the steepest street in greater Melbourne back to a now packed on-in. The waiters distaste at our appearance earlier was explained on our return. Bivios is the place to be on a Wednesday night in far Kew. Our reserved table, along with every other table in the place, was given over to rich folk in their cashmere cardigans and private school fobs. Private school brats and pearl necklace be-decked matrons craned their heads to see what raffish mob this was invading their space. They didnt have long to wait until one unnamed hasher stripped off his sweaty tee right there in their midst. Deep Throat shoved all other returning hashers out by the bins to swap gear in the cold and stink.
We squeezed ourselves around the remaining tables and gorged ourselves on the copious pizza/pasta feast, mostly oblivious to the fact that Deep Throat had managed to lose the GM, Remover, and Lotsa Fun on her Kokoda Trail re-enactment. It was only as the pack mopped up the last bits of grease from their dishes that these three staggered in, actually expecting to be fed. The pack left them some scraps and shuffled back out to the bins in the back, relegated to the trash heap for the circle.
The GM took it upon himself to describe the run as something like Kakadus tackle (long, scenic, and difficult to understand) and tabled a motion calling for a moratorium on pizza parlours for the remainder of the Hash year.
At this point Hash history was made when the hashers were accosted by fellow patrons, instead of the other way around for a change. Once order was restored, Plugger was charged for collecting petrified dung, Udder was charged for dereliction of duty, and Shunt for corrupting the youth of today.
The Sergeant took over and immediately charged the youth of today (i.e. Ms. Emma Tame) for being corruptible. Marcus was charged for coming back for seconds and for having the same name as Emmas unpredictable brother. Toto was charged for coming back for 21sts and Cooch earned a drink for his excellent work as Trail Master (two runs near strip clubs in as many weeks).
At this point charges were taken from the floor and all semblance of order was as lost as Lotsa Fun.
On-on
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date Run Number Hare Venue Melways Et Cetera 14/8/02 943 Boner Polo Club Hotel, 5 North Street, Ascot Vale 28 J9 Bring $6 for finger food 21/8/02 944 Boomer 4/39 Horne(y) Street, Elsternwick 67 F3 Down the street from the Daily Planet 28/8/02 945 Klingon Inkerman Hotel, Inkerman Street, St Kilda East 2P K8 300m east of rail line