LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
ELECTRONIC HASH TRASH
RUN NO. 927
124 APRIL 2002
HARE : UDDER IDJIT
VENUE: 24 Dalmont Street, Highett
Grand Master: Egg & Bacon Pie
(Lorraine Gierck) Ph: (03) 9421-1134 (H) gierckie@tpg.com.au
Sergeant-at-Arms: Gerbils
(Cathy Devries)(& Deputy GM); rec@johnhopkins.com.au
Hash Kash: Point Post
(David Shearn) Ph: (03) 9885 9906 H
Hash On-secs: Nobody
serving in this position – Desperately seeking a desperate person who wants to help out til the end of our tenure!
Social Secretary: Cheesecake
(Elizabeth Kelly)Ph: 9212 1942 (w) 9521 8038 (h)
Trail Mistrress: Lipstick
(Judith Pound)judithpound@hotmail.com (0415 195 0930)
Grog
Master: Barbaaara (Kevin Kitchingham)kitch_and_sheeds@bigpond.com.au (0414 770 288)
Religious advisor: IBM
(Martin Evans)(03) 9521 9439 (H)
Web Master: The Boomerang
(Jon Miller)Ph: (03) 9523-1694 (H)
Hash Haberdashery: Whinging Pom
(Margaret Collette)zamarg@hotmail.com
Committee Member: Rugarse
( Paul Hooper) Leave of Absence for rest of year
Chechin Chicken: Janus
(Hugh) 0419 698 784
Hash Horn: Too Dumb to Die
(Ian Morgan) Leave of absence for rest of year 9421 5221(H)
Web Site:
www.lakesideHash.asn.au
Run Report
THE ST GEORGES DAY COMMERATIVE RUN, HELD ON THE EVE OF ANZAC DAY 2002
The loyal subjects of His Highettness, the HareBrained Prince Udder Idjit and Queen Megan Udders Mudder of the House of Owen Glendower, gather at the Palace at Highett, (the Autumn Dwelling), to salute all things Pommy and Plummy and to remind themselves of a previous Pink Empire that in an extension of Bowery and Scraperie has now bitten the dust, or Momordit Humus as the classical scholars would say (this is not a communication disease).
His Highettness
” By the power vested in me through ancestral lineage to Dragons and Dumbos, I send Youse Bastards (said plummily & politely) OnOn the Dragon Foot Trail through the Royal Burrow of Sandringham, to the Beaches where Youse shall find and smite the Dragon and the F*#*#*#ing Turks- (that bit’s for the locals) and thereafter return victorious to feasting at the Palace.
The OnOners
“Jeez, what the F*#*#*#’s this? We’re only here for the beer”
Queen Megan
etc”Your Highettness, shoot these Persons if they dont move on Quickly”.
His Highettness
” On On Youse bastards; you’re beginning to create an atmospheric unpleasantness”
The OnOners, led by the FRBs, then the MRBs and the SRBs and sundry Hangers OnOners set off on the Dragons Foot Trail, through the darkest Burrow of Sandringham (the Winter Dwelling), down Deeply Throated Gullies infested with hives of Queen Beas (these are the natural enemies of the House of Glendower -a long negotiation concerning the right of passage delays progress), through parkland, grassland, woodland and slimy shiggy to the beaches. There the FRBs flounder in the soft terrain and the sturf and lose their sense of purpose. The Dragon, tired of tomfoolery, tired of waiting, tired of battle with puny, paltry pale and putrid persons and just tired of life has taken to the sky – the Dragon Foot Trail becomes a pale ghost of itself and fades into ether. The OnOners, exhausted and separated by divisions of class and fitness are lost, cOnfounded. To inspire cOnfidence, to maintain morale and keep the Buggers together, Captain Whippet and his Band strike that time honoured hymn
Rule Brittania, Marmalade and Jam,
Five Chinese Crackers up your arse hole
BANGBANGBAGBAGBANG
Though Dragon Foot Trail trackless the OnOners, singing, sighing and shuffling resort to Shuntian Principle (stellar navigation) and return to the Autumn.Palace.
Much jesting, and suggestian discourse, ensue thereat. Queen Megan Udders Mudder of the House of Owen Glendower joins the crowd; Prince Udder Idjit, Captain Whippet and His Band and the body of OnOners revel, carouse, quaff and feast their way through the evening. Lady Gerbils sells HasherClobbery to foolish rank and file.OnOners. Offspring arrive to gasps of admiration and much cuddlery. The Grand Saurceress calls the OnOners to order. Awards are made:
- To Shuntie, ( Kin of Major FU, DSO& Bar), for overcoming Train Barriers and opening up the Burrow of Sandringham
- To Baarbra( EWE Double Dee), for owning shorts with short pockets
- To Udder’s Mudder for Trifling in Bazaars
- To Lauren(pasderpost) for Performance of Maternal Duties to the Detriment of Lovelacian News
“When I had my baby I screamedandscreamedandscreamedandscreamed;
And that was just at conception.” J Rivers
- To several Plummy Pommie Bastards for the Unbearable Being of Britishness
- To visiting Sauceresses and Saucerers for Mistressery and Mastery of OnOners
- To Special Members for achievement and survivery of:
339 Runs (Lizard),128 Runs (Boner),130 Runs (Mothball) (jeez, looks like a good
replacement Pommy Side)
- To Several Udders whose names are engraved on our hearts; we just can’t remember who they are.
A few paltry trophies are presented to pitifully snivelling OnOners
His Highettness bids “On On into the light, you faithless bastards”
Exeunt the OnOners, singing, to honour the Harlechian heritage of QMUMotHoOG
What’s the use of wearing braces
Shirts and pants and boots with laces
Spats and hats they wear in places
Down in Brompton Road?
What’s the use of shirts of cotton
Studs that always get forgotten?
These affairs are simply rotten
Better far is WOAD
Woad to wear to show men
Woad to scare your foe men
Boil it to a brilliant hue
And rub it on your back and your abdomen
Tramp up Snowdon with your WOAD on
Never mind if you be rained or blowed on
Never want a button sewed on
Tailors you be blowed
Romans came across the channel
All dressed up in tin ad flannel
Half a pint of WOAD per man’ll
Dress us more than these.
Saxons came with shirts and breeches
Cloaks with hoods and belts with hitches
We have WOAD to clothes us which is
Not a nest for fleas.
Roman keep your armours
Saxon your pyjamas
Hairy coats were meant for goats
Gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and llamas.
Ancient Britons never hit on
Anything as good as WOAD to fit on
Necks or knees or where you sit on
Go It Ancient Bs
Tune? Men of Harlech (You eejits).
WEEHAW. Great night. Huge Thanks to all,
Margaret (aka Miss Piggy)
NEXT WEEKS RUN
Run 929 1 May 2002
: Queen Beas run from Boomers Place 4/39 Horne Street Elsternwick
Forthcoming Runs
Run 930 8 May 2002
: Bovine Breeders Hash with Whippett Wild East Restaurant, 357 Victoria Street, West Melbourne VIC 3003 MR 2A J11 Cost $15 per head for food plus normal expenses
Run 931
15 May 2002 : Barterbitchs HP Memorial Run in St Kilda (sounds like the tomato sauce patrol! Wear Red to hide the stains!)
And just in case you dont get told again:
Run 932
22 May 2002 : Baarbaaras run from home in Mt Waverley
Run 933
29 May 2002: Cheesecake
Run 934
5 June 2002 : Father and Miss Piggy from Fitzroy
Run 935 12 June 2002 : looking for a hare
Run 936 19 June 2002 : looking for a hare
Run 937 26 June 2002 : AGM Run
from Port Melbourne Life Saving Club around about $20 for the night plus drinks, including T-shirt. Regular LSH runners (subs payers) will be cheaper than that
Social Stuff
21 April weekend Joint mountin weekend with Western Suburbs at Hotham. See Deep Throat for details, or Wings
18th May
7p.m. start. Dinner and the Trots Night at Moonee Valley Racecourse See CHEESECAKE for details or read the flyer in the runs book when you sign your name.
Parking and entry off McPherson Street
Melways 28 K7
AGM
: Think about articles to put in a magazine; photographs; advertising. If anyone has contacts with a potential sponsor who could help pay for great t-shirts or giveaways please let E&B know asap. You may like to advertise yourself in our mag! Articles requested from all and sundry.
INTRAHASH STUFF
7 May 2002 : Royal Peninsula Men HHHs AGM at Frankston United Soccer Club, McClelland Drive Langwarrin MR 103 1E.
4 July 2002 : Peninsula Harriettes AGPU in McClelland Drive, Frankston
19 October 2002 : Annual Balls Up hosted by Peninsula HHH in Mornington. Theme is 60s spies.
INTERHASH 2002
Goa in India is the place to be on the last weekend on September this year. Check the website for details. All Lakesiders registered please contact E&B.