Run 981 Report

Lakeside run on Wednesday nights starting at 6:30ish, usually within 10kms of the Melbourne CBD (Central Boozing District). Runs cost $2, the food costs $3 unless it is at a pub, and drinks cost $2. Visitors are always welcome – just show up and ask for a drink!

The Uncommitted

Mummies’ Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978

Baa-baa-ra and GG (Barry Kerr) 0418 580 593

Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495

Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945

Egg’n’ Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134

Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134

Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784

Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038

The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694

Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363

Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689

IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796

Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382

al-@lakesidehash.asn.au

www.LakesideHash.asn.au

jsb-@pacific.net.au

In ancient times our tribal ancestors would disperse in the warmer weather to find new hunting grounds, conduct trade with distant neighbors, or battle with them and carry off their women folk. In the winter they gathered together once again, huddling together in their smoky caverns, fending off the winter chill with potent fermented brews, and producing the next generation with fervent mating under bearskin rugs.

Humans never shook off the instinct to gather, drink, and rub bodies in the colder months. Hashers seem particularly susceptible to this brand of recidivism. Witness our runs since the Night God’s power has grown large and the Great Fire in the Sky wanes early in these lands. Travellers have arrived from near and far. Long lost emissaries have returned from distant shores. Astro’s run last Woden’s Day was no exception.

The hare brought our gathering back to the traditional hunting grounds. Familiarity was of no avail to the tribe when the trail disappeared shortly after starting. Our finest trackers were unable to help, but the visitor named Marta used her magic speaking box to summon advice from Astro. We then wandered into an eerily silent maze of identical huts before finding ourselves, predictably enough, jogging along the shore.

Against the best hopes of the runners, the trail did not return inland, but instead led us into the Wild Countries near the Great Man-Eating Bridge. The hunters grew subdued as they wandered an abandoned park, littered with monoliths and other signs of witchery. Our greatest fears were realised when we discovered that we had wandered onto the grounds of the fearsome warlock Murdoch. His gatekeepers were mercifully silent as we searched for a way out. We eventually found the path leading away and around the Melbourne International Shooting Club. Their fire-sticks cracked and spit deadly missiles over our heads, lending such haste to our footsteps that we nearly ran onto the CityLink. Wiser heads prevailed, so we kicked a path through KFC wrappers and back through the silent Land of Warehouses to the on-in.

Back at Astro’s hut, we fell upon the mysterious stew with a mighty hunger. Disgusted with our gluttony the hare threw the second pot onto the flagstones, where Chiko picked out the odd bit of sausage.

Seeing that there would be no more to eat, the GM called the circle together. Visiting barbarians and other newcomers were brought forth for initiation – the grog master splashed Damien, Isabel, Screwbear, Two Big Swedes, Gail, Marta and James with the sacred brew. Long lost tribesmen Tripod, Drought Breaker, and Whorelse were welcomed with more grog. Mummies Boy then attempted to punish Gail and Geoff for not dressing appropriately for a running club, but was quickly corrected – they were dressed quite appropriately for a drinking club. Instead, Lotsafun was punished by the Sergeant for failing to put the hard sell on Geoff and get him to buy some Lakeside tribal wear.

The circle was in a punitive mood, shoving Astro forward to explain why a Lakeside run had been set in Melbourne Men’s arrows. The Sergeant found this a grevious offence to the Great Wombat indeed, and ordered the hare to sit upon the Icy Throne of Shame while he partook from his Cup of Remorse. Astro was able to warm the throne up only slightly for Tripod who was similarly punished for having buggered off for so long. TDTD was improperly charged for returning the horn to the actual and appointed Hash Horn, that being IBM (see committee listings above). I managed to blow most of the contents onto the shoes of Screwbear, who had been given a charge for her mumble pants.

Other hashers were in a reminiscent frame of mind. Whorelse was recalling tales from the Boom Boom Room (aka Astro’s lounge). Fellow boom boom room participant Drought Breaker had given the GM a guided tour of Port Melbourne while managing to get lost. Janus was recalling his school days. We memorialised special runs – Shagadelic at 11, Stuckon at 111, Nick at 51 and Toto at 50 – before going on to broken English charges. GG was looking for Psychadelic, but found Shagadelic instead. Stuckon was “cooking for trail” but ended up with a pot of stew on the floor.

In the criminal activities department were Boner (tampering with government documents), IBM (accessory to breaking and entering), Bovine Breeder (consuming protected vegetation) and Gerbils (warming Tripod’s arse). Lotsafun won the lottery by drawing her own ticket and we all pissed off back to our huts.

On-On

TDTD

7/5/03

982

Sooty

21 Greville St, Prahran

2L E10 Sooty has made no provision for dogs at the run. They have a Doberman and he chokes on other peoples dogs.14/5/03

983

E&B and Cheesecake

Pasley St North, South Yarra

L2 E6

Wednesday 18 June, 6:30

Lakeside HHH Annual Grand Piss-Up

Albert Park Sea Scouts Hall, south end of Aquatic Drive, Albert Park; Melway 2K-G6

Regime change at last! See Mummies’ Boy toppled at the Lakeside AGPU!!

Saturday 4 October

Lakeside HHH

1000th Run

Rowallan Scout Camp, Riddells Creek $75 for Saturday-Sunday