LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 984, 21 May 2003
Venue: Plough and Harrow Hotel, Carlton
Hare: nobody
Um, like, whatever, man.
Hmm.. theme for this weeks run report hmm lets see
Carlton run in a Carlton pub serving Carlton Draft and owned by a former Carlton footballer . Nah.
Norwegian Independence Day? Lets see. Quiet, staid participants, some of whom smell vaguely of pickled fish. But thats about as far as that goes.
Lets just admit it the theme for this weeks run is that there is no theme. It was a slack, dispirited and cynical few who even bothered to turn out for tonights run. But what can you expect when the hare couldnt be stuffed? No hare, no drink stop, no trail past the brothels down the street, no raffle, no motivation.
As for the run:
[insert WSH3 run report here]
We returned to find that David Rhys-Jones had commandeered our cosy and well-lit Irish publet for dinner with his barmaids. Like a bunch of wet noodles we allowed ourselves to be shifted to a big, dark and empty room, only to be overshadowed by the riotous mob of costumed uni students in the back bar next door. By this point Boomerang, Lizard, and Kakadu had just given up on the whole thing and gone home. Unfortunately for them, this meant they missed the parade of bosomy 19 year olds wandering past our tables as we tucked into some fine Sino-Australian cuisine.
Charges were as follows, as if you care:
- Celebrity down down: David Rhys Jones and Balltearer the Ump
- Boner, Gerbils, and TDTD for usurping the GM
- Shameless for her pink and black Economist regalia
- Mothball for getting 8 tips despite knowing nothing about footy
- Janus, on his 83rd run, got his 50th run plaque
- The four-runners: Sooty on 14, Nick on 54, and Stuckon on 114
- Partnerless hashers Cooch (E&B), Gerbils (Whippet) and Plugger (SBD)
- Shameless for going on a “proper tour” i.e. visiting relics when she could be shagging them instead (wishful thinking, GG!)
- Klingon for the Western Bulldogs double-header in this weeks footy email
- Plugger for getting lost on trail despite having the map
- Boner for poor pseudo-haring
And the highlight of the evening (though there wasnt much competition) was the spontaneous naming of Geoff. Now, Geoff has been with us since January, but has managed to never run trail, never buy any hash haberdashery, never take anyone away, and resists being brought out for a down down. When we tried to bring him forward tonight, he begged off saying “Im a non-entity.” And from henceforth shall be known at the hash as NON-ENTITY. He then skulled a pint of Guiness while Sooty told a joke about an 8 pound foreskin.
By the way, he really hates his new name. Use it often!
On-On
TDTD