LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 938 10 July 2002 Wings and Downsizings Place
Toto
The Tao of Hash
If all on earth acknowledge the good as good
Then thereby the non-good is already posited.
As the Great Chinese Sage Lao Tzu said of the tao in the 7th century BC, so does the humble scribe say of Totos run in the 19th year of the Lakeside Hash:
If all in the hash acknowledge Moonee Ponds Pizza as shithouse
Then thereby the hospitality of Wings and Downsizing is already posited.
So was it on this fateful night in Moonee Ponds. There are mysteries. There are differences. In this world, these must be reconciled in time. Some differences are as wide as those between night and day. The stupid fools of Moonee Ponds Pizza turned down 32 paying customers (32 x 13.50=$432) while the cunning couple of 6 Newhall Street had their lemon tree groomed for free.
Toto persisted in starting us from the start. Where else to begin ones journey? The pack began en masse, passing the 6 remaining customers at Moonee Ponds Pizza, but was soon divided and strung along by long, flat stretches of trail. Your humble scribe found himself cut off from the pack. It’s better to travel alone than with a fool. But what may two fools do? So I re-joined Queen Bee for a stretch along the back streets of Windy Hill. We were about to be joined by Prince when he was lured away by some siren in the bushes. I cast off on my own again, soon to join GG on the long home stretch until he stooped to rummage through someones discarded cleaning utensils. Heaven must love fools, since it made so many of us.
All paths, they say, lead to the same end, as all lives will lead to the same understanding. But only a Buddha can know that here and there are different, and without seeing the whole, who can say where new roads lead? In this case they led to Newhall Street and a long wait until the pizza arrived.
But at last it did arrive, and in mass quantities. Only when their hunger was satisfied did the GM draw the pack together. GG was called to give the run report, as the only hasher to have tried to set a run from a venue more inappropriate than Moonee Ponds Pizza. He described the run as a cunning loop that went straight to Buckleys, and Toto was duly chastised for not being able to organise a piss-up in a pizza parlour. Wings and Downsizing shared some of the accolades as co-hares for what otherwise could have been a lemon of a run.
Charges followed:
Visitors Avachat and Topsy Turvy were given free beer, as were un-named hashers Emma and Danielle. Quasi came up to receive her 25th run recognition, and GG got another free drink for 466.
Deeper charged Deep Throat for not being able to seduce the grumpy old Italian men at the pizzeria into letting us stay.
Topsy Turvy drank for being seduced away from D&E by GG to join Lakeside.
Downsizing drank a charge out of her specially autoclaved cup for having a special autoclaved cup.
Bovine drank for liking short-shorts and Downsizing drank for noticing that, contrary to popular belief, in fact “most men have hairy legs”.
I drank for not noticing that Prince had buggered off early again.
Emma drank for being too Tame.
Barterbitch drank for not knowing what her husband is up to.
Udder drank for being a sex object
Wings drank for putting his car before the hash, and Downsizing was then charged for her misguided priorities.
Mummies Boy copped it for censoring Boner’s Spotty run.
And finally Queen Bee drank for inviting hot chicks to a party where hashers will be present.
Soon it was time to call it a night. Nothing lasts forever. In all the universe there are only two constants. First, Moonee Ponds Pizza should never again enjoy the patronage of a hasher. Second, whenever Downsizing opens her mouth, its good copy.
There will be change, and something that changes. The eternal things are natural, like the seasons, and the life and death of stars.
On-On
TDTD
UPCUMMING RUNS
Date Run Number Hare Venue Melways Et Cetera 17/7/02 939 Janus Khyat’s (Hotel) of Brighton, 25 Wilson St, Brighton 67 F11 24/7/02 940 MFU 1 Dallas Av, Oakleigh 69 C9 31/7/02 941 TDTD Cricketers Arms Hotel, Punt Road , Richmond 2G G8
UPCUMMING HASH EVENTS
27 July: RPH3 Sulky Club. Cranbourne Racing Club, Grant St, Cranbourne. Talk to E&B about forming a team to enter the inter-club race. $44 includes food and grog.
2-4 August: Geelong H3 1000th, Anglesea Recreation Camp, $130 by 30 June, otherwise $145.
6-8 Sep SKI WEEKEND: Nutcracker Ski Club, Mt Buller. $125. BYO grog, sheets, pillow case, towel, etc. Book with the club booking officer. Sue Ellem 9512 0063. Lethal is taking deposits of $50.
27-29 September: INTERHASH 2002
If the Pakis dont blow the world up in the meantime, Goa in India will be the place to be on the last weekend on September this year. Check the website for details: www.goa2002.com
All Lakeside comrades who are going please contact the GM so we can present a united front of Lakeside solidarity (i.e. t-shirt and handouts)!
19 October: Annual Balls Up, hosted by RPH3 in Mornington. Theme is Shagadelic! Tickets are $65 a head for food, grog, gift, and prizes. Lakeside shaggers to go in theme so put your thinking condoms on and think of the team fun we had last year, and well do it again.
3-5 October 2003: Pan Asia Hash hosted by the Royal Selangor HHH in Kuala Lumpur Mark your diaries! www.panasiahash2003.com for more info.
LAKESIDE HASH-HOUSE HARRIERS COMMITTEE 2002 – 2003
The Uncommitted
Grand Master
Mummies Boy (Phillip Edwards) Ph: 9479 1978
Sergeant @ Arms
Baa-baa-ra (Kevin Kitchingham) Ph: 0414 770 288
Hash Kash
Stuck -On (Wendy Guo) Ph: 9534 5495
Hash On-sex
Too Dumb to Die (Ian Morgan) Ph: 0439 944 945
Social Sex
Eggn Bacon Pie (Lorraine Gierck) Ph: 9421 1134
Trail Master
Cooch (Rowan Compagnoni) Ph: 9421 1134
Grog Master
Janus (Hugh Watts) Ph: 0419 698784
Web Master
The Boomerang (Jon Miller) Ph: 9523-1694
Religious advisor
Cheesecake (Elizabeth Kelly) Ph: 9521 8038
Hash Flash
Shunt (Keith Ralph) Ph: 9570 4689
Checkin Chicken
Udder Idjit (David Cheeseman) Ph: 0414 716 382
Hash Haberdashery
Lotsa Fun (Lai Fun) Ph: 9815-2363
Hash Horn
IBM (Martin Evans) Ph: 0401-147-796
LSH3 Email all@lakesidehash.asn.au
Web Site www.LakesideHash.asn.au
Hash Trash contact jsbibm@pacific.net.au