LAKESIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS HASH TRASH
Run 993 23 July 2003
Venue: Normanby Hotel, Clifton Hill
Hare: Mouth to Mouth
We all have great defining moments in our lives; those memorable milestones that map the course of our days. Whether your own moments include the fall of the Berlin Wall; release of Sergeant Pepper album; Nelson Mandela walking free; or Chairman Mao launching his disastrous Great Leap Forward with the words “It is possible to accomplish any task whatsoever”, depends, I suppose, on when and where you were born.
Standing in a tram shelter in Bourke Street amidst a deluge of biblical proportions, I was beginning to feel I was on the threshold of another great defining moment in my life. Of one thing I was however sure; when Chairman Mao made his statement he obviously had not considered the impossibility that Mouth to Mouth was trying to accomplish by setting a run on a wild wet night in Clifton Hill.
Mouth to Mouth had chosen a new venue, the Normanby Hotel, and, as Lakeside have not run from Clifton Hill before, a new run area. Unsurprisingly, given the dreadful weather that still deluged the streets, the run had been washed away. So, clutching a wet and tattered map, TDTD led a reluctant group of hashers out into the rain swept night for an improvised run.
Marking the trail as he ran, TDTD raced off across Darling Gardens with most of the hash in hot pursuit. I must admit I dawdled slowly at the back picking my way carefully through the streets as (a) I did not want to get my wonderfully dry shoes wet in some unforeseen puddle and (b), until the 1870s Clifton Hill had been used principally for the dumping of sewage and I wanted to keep my shoes turd free, no matter how historical the turd may be.
After a brief pause in the park rotunda the hash was off across a busy road and railway tracks for a meander through the darkened rain slicked streets, before a pause in the shelter of the railway station. Built in 1888, the station for some strange reason is listed on the Victorian Heritage Register. Looked bit of a crappy building to me.
Having taken the passage under the station, and crossed the bridge over Merri Creek, we picked up the Merri Creek Trail and squelched our way through the deep dark of the night. Occasionally we sighted the ghost of an arrow that had survived the incessant downpour. Rolf kept bumping into other hashers as, she claimed, her vision was blurred by raindropped glasses.
Squelching onward we entered Yarra Bend Park and passed by the now abandoned Fairfield Fever Hospital, barely visible through the driving rain. The park looked quite eerie in the dark, which was rather appropriate as it used to be the location of the Metropolitan Lunatic Asylum. By 1860 it housed over a 1000 people and, had it still been open, I am sure they would have dragged us all in as only persons of a questionable mental condition would be out running on such a foul night.
Crossing the footbridge most of the hash veered towards the freeway, but a small group of SCBs (Prince, Toto, Rolf and a drowned rat that resembled myself), headed straight for home and the warmth of the pub where the food came quickly and, as both the food and grog were cheaply priced, the hash were soon happily tucking in and sinking amber fluid.
GG gave the run 7 out of 171/2 , but as he did not do the run, but did his own improvised run, it was not an entirely accurate assessment. Mouth to Mouth received an on down anyway.
Charges were many and included:
- TDTD and Astro for taking us out on such a wild night and marking/checking the trail
- Stuck On, Shagadelic and Scullery Maid for being inappropriately dressed (nothing exciting just not in hash gear)
- Sooty and Punch for staying back in the pub (what sensible people)
- Lizard and Gerbils for confusing hash information (although it is notoriously easy to confuse hashers)
- Mouth to Mouth for alledgedly marking the trail in brown chalk (she denies the charge)
- Buxom barmaid Cindy for commenting that she found GG “funny”. Of course he is “funny” he thinks Aussie Rules is an interesting game!
- Toto, Rolf, Klingon and Whippet were also charged but, like Alice who had been the quietest we have ever seen as she was engrossed with playing with her new doll, my mind had drifted away and I am not sure what their charges were for.
And so ended an excellent night on one of the wettest days of the year. Mouth to Mouth did not quite accomplish Chairman Maos diktat, but she found a new pub in a new area and managed to fashion an impromptu run amidst a wild night. Well done for a virgin hare.
ON ON
Plugger
Ed.note: Congratulations to Wings and Downsizing (and Boner) on their new bairn!
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