Run 1814 | 8th November 2017 | Cheesecake@Glen Huntly Park, Caulfield East

HARE: Cheesecake

VENUE: Glenhuntly Park, Caulfield.

Given there was a run from this same venue in the same week last year, there was much conjecture as to where trail might go. The hare managed to keep the trail secret, only saying that at some point the run would go round a certain place and at a certain point after a large Ladbrokes sign, it would be necessary to veer hard left under various rails to the centre of the certain place to where a drink stop awaited.  An early drink stop was necessary because this certain place was locked up early.  After the drink stop trail would go through a tunnel to exit this certain place.

The hare went on to say that to enter this certain place, it would be necessary to follow trail through a gate, but then open another gate which was marked ‘pull’, so she thought the runners would know how to do it. After said act, it would then be necessary to run anti-clockwise around this certain place – that is turn right.  It was all too much for Whippet.  He got through the ‘push’ gate OK, but was confused and running backwards and forwards parallel to the ‘pull’ gate when the rest of the pack caught up and showed him how it’s done.

Back at the park, there were a couple of trays of delicious meatloaf, pastries and salads which were quickly devoured. These were followed by lots and lots of three different types of the highly appropriate ‘Cup’ cakes (created by Cut Loose) befitting of the occasion.

Circle commenced and after the welcoming down down’s, Lethal called the phantom Lakeside H3 Mug run, which was penned by Prince earlier in the week. For the record, Cheesecake came first and won another mug.  Thanks to Point Post for doling out the down down’s.

RUN REPORT:  By Klingon                        Scored 13/14

The run felt like Deja Vu all over again. There was a new park which is apparently the biggest new park in Australia or the World or maybe just Melbourne.  (Actually it’s called Booran Reservoir Playground and it cost $10.8M, so it’s definitely the most expensive).  We ran through the playground and round the block and then around the race course like a pack of horses.  Whippet was more like a racehorse than anyone else.  A drink stop was located in the centre of the race course where the appropriate Devils on Horseback (created by Cut Loose) and Flemington Fling (created by Cheesecake) were served by a one-armed waitress (E&B), so it was a good rest.  Trail went out via the tunnel onto the streets where there were some on backs and Klingon admitted to doing the run last year and all of the same on backs again. (Einstein said something about doing the same thing again and expecting a different result).  The food this year was different, innovative and highly enjoyable as was the run – again.

WALK REPORT: By GG                             Scored 17/14

Very familiar territory and the walkers headed off across the oval as directed by the hare. There was no trail and the walkers got a bit confused about the turn off to the drink stop and were continuing around the track until they met the runners coming the other way.  GG regaled the walkers about his knowledge of race horses, having started in 1965, but he could not find the tunnel – maybe because he was walking over it.  However the drink stop was found and enjoyed and the racecourse was exited via the tunnel, which was there all the time, for a pleasant walk home.  The walk also went through the new playground, which was an old reservoir site and some of the original walls are still there.  The park was not there last year so this bit was new territory.  The walk score was based on the odds for the winner of the Melbourne Cup.


  • Gargoyle & Let Me Look: Disrupting the Circle during the run report.


RETURNEES – Mother Brown, No Balls, Klingon, Peanuts, Lethal, E&B.

HARE: Cheesecake.

  • Cheesecake: LH3 Mug award as winner of the phantom LH3 Mug run.
  • Prince: Penning the phantom LH3 Mug run.
  • Lethal: Calling the phantom LH3 Mug run in a genuine monotone with appropriate intonations, changes in volume and interjections.
  • Lethal: Mismanaged the Melbourne Cup sweeps yesterday and handed the $5 sweep prizemoney to the $2 sweep ticket holders.  They were very happy!
  • Point Post: Was an unhappy $5 sweep ticket holder and pointed out to Lethal the error of his ways.
  • Cheesecake: 99% recycled run.  The kid’s park/playground was new.
  • Pol Pot: Walked most of the run, but he got a nose in front after an on back at the laneway and bolted like a colt, leading the pack to the next check.
  • Mother Brown: Please explain.  Commented that the houses are all different, but they all look the same.
  • Cheesecake: Using extravagant, thick walled plastic cups at the drink stop.
  • Mother Brown: Mug award – because he does not have one and deserves it after the explanation he gave.

Charges from the Floor:

  • Whippet: While recce’ing the run at Caulfield race track, Cheesecake met a lady with a nice looking dog which chased her, nipped at her ankles and then bit her on the arse.  The bum biting bastard was a whippet.
  • E&B for Cooch: Many years ago, Cooch chided GG, telling him that E&B was a lovely lady and that GG was not good enough to tie her shoe laces.  E&B’s arm is in a sling and tonight GG tied her shoe laces.
  • Swingers: Pointed out a long and roundabout way to the WC to Let Me Look which nearly resulted in a catastrophe.
  • Let Me Look: Should have been named Let Me Whinge.  The WC had an unmissable flashing light on it.
  • Klingon: Eating Let Me Look’s nuts after she had chewed them.
  • Kokup: Teeny Weeny little shorts because he has to do the washing.
  • E&B: Rebound after falsely charging Peanuts for bringing a new dog to hash.
  • Klingon: Allowing Drag On to roll around in horse shit which is not becoming of a Lakeside hasher.

Presentation of Milestone Awards:

Hash haberdash had milestone run Awards that were presented to the recipients who were present:

Klingon 900 runs, Cheesecake 600 runs, Prince 600 runs, Lethal 400 runs, Kokup 300 runs.


Presenting: The Lakeside Mug over 1600 metres
Scratchings: Punch, Egg and Bacon Pie

“They’re racing now. No Balls got away cleanly, Cut Loose on the inside of her followed by Cooch, Whippet and Lubang Oz got away the best. Astro Boy running three wide, two lengths to Klingon, Udder Idgit, Point Post and Swingers. Cheesecake hard against the rails, behind her 2Bottoms, fresh from a spell is pressing hard and showing a lot of cheek. Further back to Prickly Bush, Gargoyle, Let Me Look running in blinkers, Kokup, Mummies Boy, Quick Lay and last of all Prince. At the 600 now and its Cut Loose, living up to her name with a timely dash takes the lead followed by Cooch and Whippet four wide and with the job ahead. One length to Lu Bang Oz, No Balls not looking comfortable and dropping back, two lengths to Klingon, Astro Boy, then Swingers, a length to Prickly Bush pushing forward, then Two Bottoms looking for a run, on the inside running strongly is Gargoyle then Cheesecake, Let Me Look right in it, a length to Point Post, Udder Idgit, Kokup boxed in with nowhere to go, then Mummies Boy, Lubang Oz, Quick Lay and Prince now slowed  to a trot and is unlikely to finish. At the 400 and coming from nowhere is Cheesecake, Cheesecake with the perfect rails run now third, getting mobile is Cooch – it might be too late- and Whippet looking to run on but still wide on the track. But its Cheesecake with a dream run is right in it, Cut Loose still has the lead, Let Me Look making ground, a length to Swingers coming at her, followed by Lubang Oz. At the 200 its Cut Loose, half a length to Cheesecake, inside of her Let Me Look, then Swingers trying to find another gear. Cut Loose is fighting hard with Cheesecake challenging. Cheesecake going to the front 100 to go, Cut Loose on the outside, Cheesecake in front by a length, Cut Loose on the outside is trying hard, Cheesecake in front, Cut Loose coming at her, Cheesecake is holding on, they won’t catch her, Cheesecake will win! Cheesecake will win and take the Grand Ole Mug!  Its Cheesecake by half a length to Cut Loose, a length to Swingers, Let Me Look, then Whippet who had nowhere to go, further back Cooch who had his chances, followed by Astro Boy, Klingon, No Balls disappointing, Prickly Bush, Kokup, Gargoyle and Mummies Boy better for the run, then came Lubang Oz, 2Bottoms who ran out of puff, Udder Idgit, Point Post, Quick Lay and last of all Prince who broke down at the 800, his right leg troubling him and will be spelled indefinitely.”

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